Portrait of a Demon
by Quinn Anderson
Summary: Inuyasha learns what it truly means to love someone more than life itself. SesshInu.
1. Chapter 1

_Greetings, loyal fans, to the start of yet another wonderful yaoi fic! I can't believe it took me this long to write for Inu/Sesh. I've been hinting at it for ages, and it's such a good pairing. Talk about guilty pleasures, now we're throwing incest into the mix. Well, this is going to be a long fic, and, rest assured, chock full of lemons. It will, however, be at quite a different pace from my other stories. There's a lot more history involved here; it almost has an AU feel to it. There will even be an OC added later on (not a female and not a main character, so don't fear that a Mary Sue will interfere with your yaoi. I hardly ever include female characters in my fics). Well, we've got a long way to go, so it's best to get started. I look forward to reading reviews from each and every one of you!_

**Warning: This fic contains adult themes, male-on-male graphic love scenes, some explicit language (probably), and incest. If you don't appreciate the subtle beauty of such a piece of fiction, you can damn well stop reading right now. (Ha, I knew there would be language). **

**_Important: For the first half of my fic, we will be flashing back and forth between the present time and either sixty or fifty years ago. Be sure to pay attention to the flashes, or you'll be easily lost. _**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to the characters of Inuyasha or its original plotline. I own only the yaoi-licious twists which I choose to throw in and my own interpretation of the obvious lust Inu and Sesshy have for each other. So there. _

…

**Sixty years ago**

The half-demon child was desperate to escape. His stubby legs pumped frantically in an attempt to propel himself as far from his current location as he could possibly be. Every shaky breath he managed to suck in sent pain shooting through his lungs. He sobbed hopelessly against the ache in his chest, unable to stop, unable to rest for even a moment.

They were right behind him. He could smell the fire and hear their vicious shouts. They thirsted for his blood. The villagers couldn't care less that he was only a pup, barely six years of age, and absolutely no threat to them. He was tainted by demon blood, and they would do anything and everything to spill that blood until nothing remained of him but an empty shell.

Another sob ripped from Inuyasha's cold lips, hard as he tried to contain it. He was only a child after all, and his despair was great. He'd lost everything that day—everything that he'd ever truly cared for. His home was gone, burned to the ground with the help of the villagers' torches. All his memories had been lost with that house, along with any meager possessions he'd owned. But the biggest loss was the one that still haunted his every waking moment. He envisioned her face perfectly—her smiling, caring face—and her sparkling eyes looking tenderly into his. Her eyes were once bright as she whispered words of love and hope into his pointed ears. She'd sung lullabies to him in the sweetest voice he'd ever heard, an angel's voice, though now he only heard it as a distant echo in his thoughts. His mother's eyes would never gaze into his again.

The babe shrieked helplessly as his tiny foot suddenly caught in a knobby branch stretched across the ground, invisible in the dark night. His ankle wrenched painfully as he was sent sprawling to the dirt, skin scraping against thorny vines and loose stone. He laid still for a moment, absorbing the shock from the blow, then scrambled to get back to his feet.

He couldn't stay here for another second. They would catch him if he did. His mother wasn't around anymore to protect him from their hate. If they managed to catch him alive…. Inuyasha whimpered with fear as he thought of all the tortures they would put him through before finally ending his miserable existence. The villagers hated demons even more than was to be expected of average humans of their time. They had blamed every little accident on him from the moment his mother had brought him to live with her in their town. They were even quicker to blame the big accidents on him, too. They beat him mercilessly every time something went wrong; it was only the pleading of his mother that had kept them from killing 'the half-blooded urchin' for this long. Now they had their chance; they would _not_ pass it up.

Inuyasha forced his trembling body to rise from the ground, though his muscles screamed in protest. Flaming hot needles ripped into every inch of muscle and sinew as he climbed unsteadily to his feet. He ordered himself to keep running, but his knees were shaking too badly to obey the command. He wheezed brokenly as his lungs struggle to fill with air. Inuyasha couldn't even say how long he'd been running, but it seemed like hours at least.

The smell of smoke was still right behind him, filtering through the trees like a black omen. He gagged on the rancid odor of burning torches, fur, and flesh. The villagers had sacrificed their prize bull to the gods before beginning the hunt, and the smell of the animal's charred remains assaulted Inuyasha's sensitive nose almost painfully. The child felt a wave of guilt as he thought about the beast that had been killed in his name. His pursuers had been willing to give up the blood of a noble creature to assure that the demon babe's own blood would soon join it. The thought made Inuyasha retch.

He took an unsteady step forward, willing himself to fight through the pain as he had done so many times before. Every time the villagers had dragged him out into the fields to 'punish' him for his alleged crimes, he'd forced himself to get through the pain. He'd learned to shut out the sound of their guttural laughter, the glee in their voices as they'd sliced open his delicate skin, the smell of alcohol on their breath as they'd spat in his face. He'd forced himself to trudge home, bloody and broken, to climb silently into bed so his mother would not wake up and notice his injuries until morning, when they'd had a chance to heal some. As long as she thought his beatings weren't as bad as they were, she wouldn't further endanger herself trying to protect him.

A strange noise gurgled in the back of Inuyasha's throat, halfway between a sob and a moan. The smoke had made the flesh in his mouth raw and tender, preventing him from mourning properly for his mother. Hard as he had tried to protect her, it had done him no good. She was dead now, and there was nothing he could do to bring her back. All he could do was run as hard as he could, as long as he could, and hope the villagers tired of chasing him. He was helpless now. Even if he did escape, he knew he couldn't fend for himself.

His skin was burned in numerous places, blood trickled from a dozen wire-thin cuts on his arms and legs, his knees were torn up from tripping, the view in his left eye had gone foggy gray nearly an hour ago, and to top it all off he was tired, thirsty, and hungry. He knew nothing of how to endure in the wilderness without a mother to care for him. His six years of life had taught him nothing about survival, and there was still no guarantee that the villagers wouldn't catch him and finish what they'd begun.

Inuyasha stumbled forward again but did not trip. He forced his body to comply with his commands, biting back a scream of pain. He needed to stay quiet and hope the humans lost his trail. He knew that for all the common blood he shared with the beings tracking him, they would never be able to do half the things that he could do with ease. His young mind understood that he was special, and that the humans hated him for his abilities. He could smell people when they were still miles away, could sense rain days before it arrived, could lift bags of rice that the men in his village groaned at the sight of, all before he even hit puberty.

The demon babe couldn't understand why his gifts were so hated. It made his brain hurt to think that everything he was could be so completely loathed by people who shared common ancestors with him. It pained him when he thought about how much misery his gifts had brought not only to him, but to his human mother as well. It pained him to realize that over the years he had learned to hate what he was, too. He shook his head to stop the melancholy path his thoughts traveled. He had better things to worry about at the moment.

As if in answer to his thoughts, another tree root rose up and gave him an additional worry to add to his list. He couldn't deny the loud crack that split the air this time as his leg tangled helplessly in its snare and brought him crashing down. Red waves of pain flashed in front of his open eyes, and Inuyasha couldn't help but cry out in earnest this time. The young hanyou lay helplessly, knowing that the sound of his scream would lead the villagers to his exact location. He couldn't run anymore, had no means of escape. He was trapped.

Tears stung at his eyes as he realized that all the torment and agony he'd been through had been utterly pointless. He would die here in these cold, harsh woods after sating the bloodlust of an angry mob. His death would create not a single ripple in the world; no one would care once he was gone. No one would remember that he'd ever even existed. The only comfort he could give himself was that eventually all the pain would disappear, and maybe he would be with his mother again.

Blackness crowded into the edges of his sight, ensuring him that a peaceful void waited just beyond the bend of his universe. Inuyasha felt the world grow strangely cold, and he assumed that death was coming early to take him. He could even see a figure approaching him with ghostly silence. _An angel, _he thought, as the mysterious chill invaded his body. While the figure continued to approach him, Inuyasha's blurry vision managed to make out a few details that proved the creature to be an angel. It was a male, though a breathtaking one, with skin paler than freshly fallen snow and eyes of cold, molten gold. His supernatural beauty could only belong to that of the purest heavenly being.

**Present Day**

"If you don't get out of my _fucking_ way, Sesshoumaru, I swear I'll kill you here and now!" Inuyasha's eyes flashed with fury as he unleashed yet another Wind Scar. The attack sliced through the air, leaving gouges in the earth as it went. The figure it was aimed at leapt easily out of the way, chuckling scornfully, but had to dodge again an instant later as poison claws came racing for his throat.

Naraku laughed again at the combined efforts of the two brothers. As long as they refused so blatantly to work together, he would have no trouble avoiding their uncoordinated attacks. The longer he could string them both along, the more fun he would have in the process.

Sesshoumaru glared back at his half-brother as Inuyasha's threat echoed in the air. "Foolish mixed-breed, you will never possess strength enough to defeat this Sesshoumaru. Keep your childish attempts at intimidation to yourself." Inuyasha growled furiously in response and leapt into the air, bent on ripping those mocking golden eyes out of his brother's head.

Unfortunately, this rash action left him wide open to attack, as he soon discovered when one of Naraku's branchlike appendages planted itself in his sword arm. Inuyasha let out a hiss of pain and fell neatly to the ground, cursing his impatience. He finally had a chance to take Naraku down in a legitimate battle—no dolls or trickery involved—but of course Sesshoumaru had chosen now to show up and pick a fight. The pureblood had seemingly done everything in his power to get in Inuyasha's way; he was obviously determined to kill Naraku entirely on his own.

Inuyasha ground his teeth wrathfully at the thought of being robbed of the right to kill Naraku by his own brother—not that he had ever thought of Sesshoumaru as such. The inu youkai had caused him nothing but trouble from the first time they'd met, and he seemed determined to carry on the tradition by interfering in a battle that was rightfully Inuyasha's. The hanyou was the one who had tracked Naraku down. He was the one who had led him to this clearing and started the fight. He was the one who had prevented his friends from getting in the way as he attacked the spider feverishly. He was the one who had put forth so much effort to get as many hits on his enemy as he could. Just as Inuyasha was honestly beginning to believe that today would be the end of the traitorous kumo, Sesshoumaru had shown up and ruined it all. The thought filled Inuyasha with rage. How was he supposed to concentrate with his brother on the field?

Naraku seemed to sense the distraction that was running through both of the brothers as they regarded each other from opposite sides of the clearing. Neither seemed to be fully willing to use their strongest attacks while the other was nearby. _Maybe they don't want to reveal their techniques to each other, _Naraku mused. _Or maybe there is much more going on here than can be observed by one such as I. _The spider had grown weary already of fighting these two when they were obviously not giving it their all. He hated to be treated as second best in a battle, and Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were clearly focusing more on each other than on him. Naraku used their distraction to pull forth some of his demon energy. When the time was right, he released it into a cloud of crackling black power and disappeared from sight.

Inuyasha noticed this immediately and charged after him, slicing the black cloud in two, but it was too late. Naraku had escaped. The hanyou bellowed out his frustration as he fell to the ground, barely managing to land right. He was angrier now than he'd been in a long time, angry with his brother for yet again getting in his way. Why couldn't the Taiyoukai ever just leave him alone?

With a flash of white movement, Inuyasha spun around and unleashed an attack on his brother. His youki ripped across the ground like hellfire, scattering massive rocks into the air like feathers. Sesshoumaru dove to the side just in time and somehow managed to land elegantly on his feet, almost catlike in his grace. "Do you really think it wise to take your frustrations out on me, dear brother?" His voice was oily with condescension. Inuyasha's lips curled into a feral grin, as he came after the inu youkai again, shouting, "Why can't you ever just stay out of it, Sesshoumaru? Why do you constantly have to interfere with my life?"

Sesshoumaru smirked as he easily avoided a dozen thoughtless blows launched at him by Inuyasha. The hanyou wasn't even pretending to coordinate his attacks now. He was just throwing as many punches as he could, heedless of where they fell, determined to take out his anger on Sesshoumaru. With an easy pass of his hand, the Taiyoukai smacked Inuyasha roughly to the ground and quickly pinned him there with a hand to his neck. As Sesshoumaru crouched down next to the squirming hanyou, he let the hiss of poison in his claws become audible, warning Inuyasha that he should be very careful with his movements. The half-demon stilled almost instantly, recognizing the threat that Sesshoumaru's claws held, and glared up at his brother.

"Dear brother," Sesshoumaru cooed mockingly, "you shouldn't glare at me so. You know how much I dislike it when your pretty face gets twisted around like that." His hand tightened around Inuyasha's neck to prove his point. Reluctantly, the hanyou relaxed his face into a look of utter blankness, obviously thinking up a thousand different ways to kill his brother once he managed to break free.

Sesshoumaru studied his brother's face for a moment, then leaned down and whispered in his ear, "You asked me why I have to interfere in your life, Inuyasha. In response, I have only this to say: think of what would have happened to you if I'd never interfered. You would have died sixty years ago, long before your fight with Naraku, long before you were pinned so helplessly to that tree. I saved you that day, when I found you injured and sniveling in the woods. You know the debt that hangs above your head."

**Sixty years ago**

The baby hanyou shivered as he stared into the angel's eyes—so much like pools of liquid sun—and suddenly he realized the chill in his body was not from the heavy presence of death, but from the presence of this ethereal creature. The 'angel' stalked closer, his white and red kimono swishing slowly around him. His chest was covered in the finest armor, and a single sword hung at his side. The babe wondered briefly why an angel would need armor, but his pain-clouded mind was unable to register the thought. A voice drifted to him through the pain: a voice that was as melodious as it was filled with contempt.

"How fitting to see my father's bastard son squirming in the dirt like a worm. If I'd known you were so utterly pathetic I might not have bothered to come when I smelled your tainted blood in the air." The child struggled to understand the angel's words, but found it nearly impossible. What was the angel saying about his father? Inuyasha had never known his father. The Great Demon had died only a few minutes after giving Inuyasha his name. If his mother's stories were true, Inutaisho had died to save the lives of his mother and himself. What did this strange angel know of his father?

Inuyasha struggled to ask the thousands of questions in his mind but dissolved into a bout of harsh coughing instead. Golden eyes stared mockingly down at him as he struggled to keep breathing. A smile formed on the angel's lips, a cruel and terrible smile that sent a shiver racing down the hanyou's spine.

"I will say this about you, young bastard," the angel spoke, smirking, "you may be every bit as feeble as the mixed blood that runs in your veins, but I am amused to see the apathy in your eyes. You know death is coming and have already resigned yourself to the fact. You will not fight it; acceptance is the path you have taken. For that, and the common blood we share, this Sesshoumaru will spare your life."

_Sesshoumaru…? _Inuyasha thought as the angel closed the last few feet between them. He felt a surge of youki in the air, and suddenly the child understood that it was not an angel who stood over him but a full-blooded demon. The youkai slid the sword at his side easily out of its sheath, and the youki in the air grew thicker.

With a flash of demonic energy, the one called Sesshoumaru sliced the air around Inuyasha's limp body, and immediately the half-demon felt relief wash through him like a warm flood. Power that was not his own coursed through him, mending his torn sinews and broken bones. The energy grew to be too much for him, and a moment later Inuyasha passed out with one last lingering image plastered behind his eyes: golden circles of light and a cruel smirk.

To be continued….

_Well, what do you guys think? Love it? Hate it? The only way I'll know is if you review. I think this is the first fic I've ever written where the main characters haven't been completely absorbed in lust three paragraphs in. Definitely a different pace from what I'm used to. Well, I hope to hear from all of you and see you again come the next chapter. Also, I have both a livejournal and forums that I would suggest you guys check out. They're fairly important if you want to know what's going on in the world of Yaoi. Links are listed below:_

Livejournal: http/ www . livejournal . com/users/hieiaijin1410/

Forums: http/ www . fanfiction . net/f/671396/

_Spaces need to be removed. Ja mata!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed my first chapter! I really loved hearing from all my old fans and all my new. And the feedback I received was superb. Hopefully, my second chapter will meet all your expectations. Again, this fic flashes back and forth between times, so **you****must pay attention to the flashes**. Otherwise, expect to be quickly and easily lost. Links will be given at the end to my forums and livejournal. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, at all, or ever, never more or ever more, whatever._

…

**Sixty years ago**

_Inuyasha thrashed his arms helplessly, though he knew he stood no chance. The villagers had him surrounded now, their evil leers and bitter laughter smothering him like a wet blanket. His body trembled with fear as the stench of smoke filled his nose. He could taste its gritty flavor, and his eyes watered up from the pain of every shaky breath. They'd finally caught up with him. There was nothing he could do to save himself. All his efforts had been in vain, and he would die here like a trapped beast. He was not equal in their eyes; he was as worthless as a blind worm writhing on the ground; he was utterly alone…_

The babe woke from his horrifying dream with a desperate gasp, sucking air into his lungs. His limbs continued to thrash as they had in his nightmare, though they were restricted by some kind of soft material. His panic rose to sickening levels as he struggled to free himself. He no longer understood what was going on around him, only that he needed to escape. He couldn't remember where he was. The last thing he recalled was running from the villagers after his mother's death.

Tears slid down his round cheeks and sobs filled the air as he realized he was too weak to pull free. _I'm going to die here. The villagers will catch me if I can't break free. I have to leave this place!_

"Are you quite finished with all that flailing about, little pest?" A melodic voice floated to the child's pointed ears and calmed him instantly. _Little pest? _Abruptly, a shroud seemed to lift from Inuyasha's eyes. The fear generated in him by his nightmare had blinded him to all but his growing panic. He now realized that he was no longer being chased through a burning forest. He was actually slung over the shoulder of a tall, graceful inu youkai and was tangled in some kind of furry pelt on his shoulder. He remembered seeing this creature once before. _The angel… _Inuyasha's gold eyes widened as his memory returned to him.

This beautiful demon had rescued the hanyou child from the villagers and was now carrying him off to some unknown destination. Inuyasha's mind whirled with a thousand questions, but something about the perpetual lack of expression on the angel's face told him not to bother asking. Instead, he chose to voice the questions only to himself. _He…he called me his brother before…and he called himself Sesshoumaru…Who is this angel, or demon, or whatever he is…? _

Just as the half-demon child was beginning to come to grips with himself, the one called Sesshoumaru seemed to grow weary of carrying him and simply let him fall to the ground like a rock. Inuyasha yelped as his sore body hit the hard forest floor, but before he could voice his startled protest, the angel-demon responded coldly, "If you can't even walk by yourself, how do you expect to survive in this world? You're a weak and useless half-breed; don't shame yourself further. I only carried you this far so I wouldn't have to waste my time waiting for you to wake up. You will walk from here on out or you will be left behind."

Inuyasha's lips curled back furiously, flashing his small fangs. A growl sounded from the back of his throat as he prepared a retort, but Sesshoumaru interrupted him once again by quickly reaching back and smacking him across the face. The babe went flying into the air, spinning helplessly. He tumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs a moment later. The blow had hit him harder than anything else ever had, but the hanyou child could tell the inu youkai hadn't used even a fraction of his strength. Inuyasha climbed shakily to his feet, but an instant later, he suddenly found himself being thrown back again.

A large hand held him by the neck, pinning him forcefully to a nearby tree. Shimmering golden eyes stared at him from an angelic face only a few scant inches away, threatening him with this invasion of his personal space. The demon had moved with such blinding speed there was no way the half-breed could have avoided him.

Before Inuyasha could even let out a yelp, the angel-demon was speaking again, his voice low and deathly cold. "Little brother, do not presume to contradict me when I tell you something is so. You meant to argue with me when I called you 'useless', but such an argument cannot be made. It was I who rescued you from your certain demise, and you will do well to remember that fact. You had best get used to inferiority. The place that I am taking you will give you no reprieve from it. You will be a leper amongst your own people, thanks to your mixed blood. There is no acceptance waiting for you at the end of this road."

With that, Sesshoumaru let go of Inuyasha's tiny jaw and watched the hanyou slide weakly to the ground. His eyes were emotionless pools of sunlight, though they held no hint of the sun's warmth. The babe blinked back the tears in his eyes, refusing to cry in front of this creature that so obviously despised his every weakness. The future held little fear for Inuyasha. He did not fear isolation; he'd dealt with it his entire life. He'd already resigned himself to be forever unaccepted by the world around him.

The little fear that had not been beaten out of him over the years was now utterly dedicated to this beautiful thing standing before him. He wasn't certain how he knew, but some hidden sense within him was sending prickles all along his flesh, warning him that someday, somehow, this perfectly angelic demon was going to devour him alive.

**Present Day**

Inuyasha let out another wrathful roar as his fist smacked into a nearby tree trunk, shattering the wood into flying splinters. "Damn Naraku. Damn Sesshoumaru. Damn them both to hell!" The three-way fight between himself and his two strongest competitors had ended some time ago, but Inuyasha was still fuming. Sunset fell around him in rivers of rosy light, but the hanyou was oblivious to the change and continued venting his rage on nearby foliage.

"And damn those stupid humans for not understanding anything," he muttered as his bloodied fist took down a rather large willow. The only reason he was out in the forest by himself like this was because his friends had sent him away. He'd returned to their makeshift campsite in an even darker mood than he was now, ranting and raving. Kagome had taken one look at his rage-twisted face and had 'sat' him into oblivion. Sango and Miroku had chastised him for not having better control over his emotions, and Shippo and Kirara had ignored him completely. They'd barely even given him a chance to explain his frustrations before shooing him away to work them out on his own.

"They just don't understand!" Inuyasha yelled, jumping into the air only to spin around and slice open another tree with a vicious kick. "Naraku was within my grasp! I _had_ him! I could have ended this whole thing! And then _he_ showed up!" The white-haired male was yelling so loudly, the rest of the forest had grown deathly silent.

"Why does he always have to show up?" Another tree was lost to the hanyou's fury. "My life was going perfectly fine before I saw him again! He just _had_ to decide to hunt me down for no apparent reason and destroy my chances of starting over after Kikyo's spell. He just _had_ to come searching for our father's fang. He just _had _to rip that pearl out of my eye. He just _had_ to keep coming after me. Why can't he ever just stay away from me?"

Inuyasha was panting and sweating now, his energy gone but his fury worked up to a frightening level. Memories were washing over him now: his first meeting with Sesshoumaru in the woods as a child, Kikyo's arrow, his reunion with his brother after Kagome freed him…. It all blended together into a tapestry of Sesshoumaru.

"Why…" the half-demon murmured as he fell to his knees, shaking with exhaustion and frantic emotions. "Why did he have to save me? I should have died that night in the forest. I should have died long before I had a chance to meet Kikyo and start this whole mess with the Shikon no Tama. But I didn't. Sesshoumaru appeared like an angel and saved me, though what followed could only be considered hell."

Inuyasha's eyes shut tightly, and his fangs bit down hard on his lower lip as he fought back his emotions and old memories. "Sesshoumaru hasn't changed a bit. He's the same cold, arrogant bastard as always. He's the same interfering demon lord who called me 'little brother' and 'worthless half-breed' in the same breath. He's the same youkai with eyes like the sun and a heart of pure ice."

The half-breed sat back on his haunches, his breathing somewhat calmed. "What would have happened if I'd never met him? If my mother had never died and I'd continued to live with her in the village? What if I'd escaped from the forest after she died and started a life of my own? What if…there had never been a Sesshoumaru?"

Inuyasha's chest hurt strangely at the thought.

**Sixty years ago**

The hanyou child's small legs struggled to keep up with Sesshoumaru's fluid strides. The inu youkai was making absolutely no effort to adjust himself for his baby brother; if anything, he seemed to be going out of his way to take bigger steps and choose the most treacherous paths through the forest. A silent challenge hung in the air between them. Sesshoumaru would press Inuyasha as hard as he could, and Inuyasha would either take the punishment or face the consequences.

Inuyasha bit back his whimpers and pleas for a break. He knew without a doubt that if he dared utter even the smallest noise, this creature who called himself his brother would turn on him without a shred of remorse. Inuyasha's stubborn pride also played a part in his silence. The babe had spent his entire life suffering for what he was; he was no stranger to injustice. After all these years of repression, he should have grown soft and weak-minded. Instead, he had hardened himself to despair. The only mourning he had left in him was dedicated to his mother. He refused to waste time pitying himself. Sesshoumaru could push as hard as he wanted, but Inuyasha would never face the disgrace of admitting his own limitations.

Silently, they pressed on, each paying close attention to the movements of the other. If Inuyasha tripped over a rock or root, Sesshoumaru would listen for a cry of pain. When none came, he would switch them onto a more difficult path, testing his traveling companion relentlessly. The hanyou child held his tongue through some small miracle, and gradually the landscape around them began to shift.

The thick forest turned into waves of meadow grass, dotted intermittently with yellow and white flowers like fish in an emerald sea. Sunlight streamed around them in even greater clumps, and soon the flat, rocky land transformed into rolling hills.

When they finally broke out of the trees altogether, Sesshoumaru turned to Inuyasha and ended the silence between them. "You have done better than I anticipated, half-breed, but you are far from safe." His golden eyes were boring into Inuyasha's. "We approach the castle of our mutual father, Inu no Taisho: the former Lord of the Western Lands. Once we are there, the real trial will begin. If I deem you worthy, you will be allowed to live in the presence of your stronger blood, though you are far from deserving of such a privilege. If you fail to prove yourself, you will be thrown back into the wild from whence you came."

The half-demon shuddered at the finality in his brother's words. Sesshoumaru's tone was that of one who knows only how to pass swift, merciless judgment. Inuyasha began to wonder if by some twist of fate, the demon lord already knew that the latter destiny would be his and was merely allowing it to play out in giving him this chance. _At least now I know why he called me his brother. My mother told me stories of my father, the Great Demon Inutaisho, when I was a child. It seems Sesshoumaru and I really are related. _

In truth, Inuyasha could see a resemblance between them, though his beauty was nowhere near that of his older brother's. Their eyes were the same hue of molten gold, and they both had hair like flowing moonlight. Day and night could be seen readily in both of them; however, Inuyasha's features were considerably softer and warmer than his brother's. _I wonder if I'll grow up to look like him… _The hanyou wasn't sure how he felt about that sentiment. Sesshoumaru's appearance was a blend of power, authority, and androgynous beauty. Most would admire such rare features, but Inuyasha still held the lingering image of his mother's warm smile and twinkling eyes in his mind. What the child wanted most right now was for someone to look at him with tenderness and compassion; he would never find that in the gaze of his older brother.

Sesshoumaru turned away from him then and began walking once more. Inuyasha scrambled to follow after him, finding the task no less difficult now that they were on easier terrain. He couldn't say how long they walked, but his tired body was screaming at him before the end. The mechanical nature of walking kept his mind from focusing on anything but the here and now. He was so absorbed in his own silent march, he barely noticed when Sesshoumaru abruptly halted on the crest of a hill.

The Taiyoukai stood there above it all, looking down on something resting just over the top of the hill. In his melodic, precise voice, Sesshoumaru called to Inuyasha, "Welcome to your new home, little brother." The hanyou's heart skipped a beat. He hurried to catch up with the inu youkai. He couldn't guess what laid in wait for him over the top of that hill, but he was ready to face it.

To be continued…

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_Spaces need to be removed. Ja mata!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Woohoo for chapter three! I loved the reviews, and I love all of you. Most of all, I love the Sesshoumaru x Inuyasha goodness. Okay, in this chapter we actually get to see the fortress of Inutaisho. Just a reminder, this story follows the basic timeline of the beginning of the third Inuyasha movie. Inutaisho died the day Inuyasha was born, and his mother died a few years later. There's a quick recap for anyone who hasn't seen the movie._

_Note: **remember to watch the flashes between the three time periods this fic will eventually incorporate**. Right now, it's just two, but you'll be lost if you don't keep up._

_Disclaimer: If you think I own it, I wish you were right._

…

**Sixty years ago**

Inuyasha's bright eyes widened until it seemed they would surely pop from his head. He looked all around him, flipping his head this way and that in an attempt to see everything at once. Sesshoumaru watched him and smirked inside. The reactions of a lesser being were truly priceless. Though the Taiyoukai would never let it show on the outside, he was inwardly pleased that something as simple as a glimpse of his kingdom could inspire such awe.

When Inuyasha had first bounded up to the crest of the hill and gazed down at the majesty that lay beyond it, Sesshoumaru had been forced to put an actual effort into removing expression from his face. His little brother's mouth had dropped open in such a purely comical fashion it had even tickled Sesshoumaru. That mouth had stayed open as they'd descended from the hill and into the valley below, which held the fortress of the Western Lands at its bottom. The majestic castle, with its spiraling towers and pure white rock, had seemingly charmed the very words from the half-breed's throat.

Upon entering the fortress and its grand entrance hall, the hustle and bustle of servants, soldiers, weavers, cooks, and Sesshoumaru's advisors had sent Inuyasha reeling. One would almost think he'd never been around this many people before. _I suppose that is entirely possible considering the bastard's history, _Sesshoumaru mused, watching Inuyasha flit amongst the various inu youkai. He seemed to be smelling them one by one, as if their scents would give him some clue he needed to solve the mystery of their existences.

Most of the youkai paid him no mind, either out of apathy or because they didn't notice him at all. The few that did bother to look his way growled with disgust. Inuyasha's half-breed scent was too mixed in with all the pure youkai to be detectable, but those ridiculous ears were a dead giveaway. Sesshoumaru leaned back against a wall, watching the reactions of each demon that realized what Inuyasha was. Sesshoumaru had determined long ago that the opinions of his people would be the deciding factor in Inuyasha's fate. If they chose to kill him, he would die. If not, he would live in animosity for the rest of his days. It really made no difference either way to the Taiyoukai.

Surprisingly, the demons seemed too busy to do more than send a frosty glare Inuyasha's way, which the hardened pup was able to ignore easily. He'd received far worse in his day. Now that the half-breed had gotten over his initial amazement, he seemed to be enjoying his little game of exploration. That is, until he forgot to look behind him and ended up backing into a set of servants carrying an enormous vase in their hands. With a yelp, Inuyasha slipped to the floor, followed a moment later by the ornate piece of china. It shattered in a matter of moments, raining shards of pottery down on him.

Inuyasha raised his small arms to cover his head, but that only served to get those slashed up in place of his face. The smell of his hanyou blood filled the air thickly, drawing the eyes of every demon in the room. On top of that, the sound of breaking china had been nearly explosive, making the silence that followed equally, if not more so, deafening. There was no way Inuyasha could be ignored now. What seemed like hundreds of fierce eyes fixed on him. The hanyou lowered his arms slowly, remaining as still as he could for fear of breaking the tense silence. If he knew anything about his people it was that excessive movement would only egg them on.

Sesshoumaru watched with something close to amusement on his perfect face. It seemed his little brother at least knew when he was outmatched. A part of him had expected the babe to get right back up and glare at the whole lot of them. That surely would have resulted in his immediate death. Fortunately for Inuyasha, his submissive stillness had given onlookers enough sense of dominance not to need to prove it further. They understood that Inuyasha was weaker than them, and that he knew that as well. In a dog's mind, that was all that was necessary.

"I see you've met my baby brother," Sesshoumaru's lofty voice carried easily through the silence in the chamber, reaching every ornate corner. A flood of whispers broke out after this statement, a snippet of the gossip that was to come. The anger in the eyes fixed on Inuyasha intensified tenfold. Sesshoumaru smirked again and watched Inuyasha for a reaction. The babe was still lying perfectly motionless exactly where he'd been before. Blood was beginning to pool around him from the cuts on his arms, yet he made no move to stop the flow.

Sesshoumaru waited for only a moment more before determining that no one in the room was willing to act against the pup now that they knew his lineage. The Taiyoukai strode forward, his silver hair whipping behind him like strands of a spider's silky web. He stood next to his brother, glaring down at him with cold eyes. His look said it all: your life is mine, now and forever. I am saving you now to prove that.

Golden eyes rose to pierce the crowd with their commanding ferocity. "This disgrace that you see cowering on the floor here is none other than the bastard child of my departed father, Inutaisho. This blood that trickles to the floor is the same that ran in the veins of this castle's former lord. It has been dirtied with the blood of a lesser being, but it is still there enough to satisfy me. I have taken this pup into my care, and thusly made him aware of his disgrace. He will live every day knowing the shame of what he is. I cannot punish my father for sullying the proud bloodline from which I draw my roots, but…" Sesshoumaru paused, and his gleaming eyes darted back down to Inuyasha. He spoke the rest of his sentence directly to the half-demon, "I can make you suffer in ways unimaginable."

His eyes once again rose to the crowd. "His impure blood is not to be spilt by any but me. That pleasure will forever belong to this Sesshoumaru alone." Sesshoumaru then turned to the two servants that had dropped the vase on Inuyasha. They were twin female demons, low class and unattractive in their weak lineage. They cowered under the fierce gaze of their lord while still managing to send Inuyasha looks deadly enough to wilt a fresh rose.

"As punishment for being the first to break this rule," Sesshoumaru addressed them evenly, "you will become servants to this half-breed, and therefore add his dishonor to your own. You will be the underlings of a worm master and writhe on the ground beside him." One of the females burst into ugly tears, clutching at her sister. The anger in their dull eyes as they stared at their new master was enough to ignite the air between them.

Inuyasha looked quickly away from both his brother and the twins. He couldn't bear to see their wrath anymore than he could the pleasured grin on his older brother's face. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru," he whispered to himself, "for making my first enemies for me."

**Present day**

It wasn't hard to figure out where Inuyasha had gone. As Miroku pushed aside a clutch of thick ferns with the base of his staff, he shook his head and sighed. He'd honestly expected more from Inuyasha. What kind of demon didn't even know how to properly conceal himself when he didn't want to be found? The trail of decimated trees and underbrush drew a clear path from the campsite to Inuyasha. It would have been more subtle for the half-demon to line the route with naked women. _Actually…_ Miroku thought, _that would have been the best way for Inuyasha to stay hidden. Who could care about finding their friend when there are pretty ladies to be charmed? _

Sure enough, a few minutes after setting out to find his friend, Miroku was standing at the base of a large willow, gazing up into its branches. A mane of what hair dangled over the edge of one particularly thick branch, clearly marking where the hanyou lay.

"Inuyasha, get down from there!" Miroku cupped a hand around his mouth and called, not really expecting a reply. What Inuyasha lacked in subtlety he made up for in sheer stubbornness.

"Mind your own goddamn business, monk!" The mane of white hair suddenly disappeared, indicating that its owner had switched positions to conceal himself better.

Miroku sighed and shook his head. "What's the point in hiding now! I've already found you! Come down and talk like a man!"

A number of growls and indecipherable curses filtered down through the branches, followed by a loud thump as a hanyou fell neatly to the ground approximately ten feet from Miroku. The monk flashed a cheery smile and waved. "Welcome back." Inuyasha growled in response and flopped onto the ground, seemingly ignoring his companion.

"Come now, Inuyasha. Don't be like that! I know it wasn't nice of us to shoo you away, but with the way you were acting, what were we supposed to do?"

"You sure as hell could have heard me out!" Inuyasha dropped his apathetic act and glared at his friend. This was exactly the reaction Miroku was hoping to get from him. It wouldn't do to have the half-breed ignoring everything he said.

"Well, how about I hear you out now?" Miroku set his staff down and sat next to his friend, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. Inuyasha considered him for a moment, then turned sharply away and scoffed. "You couldn't possibly understand, monk. I had him. I fucking _had_ him! Naraku was right there! And then _he_ had to go and ruin it all!"

"What did Naraku ruin?" Miroku asked, honestly curious. It wasn't often that he heard Inuyasha speak so passionately.

Gold eyes blazed as they turned on the human without really seeing him. "Naraku ruined plenty, but it was Sesshoumaru that fucked it all up this time. If he would just stay out of it…!" A fist slammed into the dirt next to Inuyasha, making Miroku jump back a little.

"What do you mean, Inuyasha?"

The monk watched his friend. His fist was still planted in the ground, his body bent over his lap as he panted heavily. His white hair had swung down to cover his face on all sides. Inuyasha's voice was no more than a low growl. "He's always interfering! Always! He could never leave me alone. Even when we weren't together he made sure I was thinking about him. He made sure of it, the bastard! He used to make it so I couldn't sleep at night for fear that he would come back for more."

Miroku was completely taken aback by this outburst. Never before had Inuyasha spoken so openly about his brother, or about his life before Kagome had freed him from Kikyou's spell. It seemed Sesshoumaru had had a lot more involvement in it than the hanyou had ever hinted at before.

"Inuyasha…what are you trying to say?" The monk asked this question gently, fearful that if he disturbed Inuyasha from his somewhat trance-like state, he might stop talking. The hanyou's golden eyes were glazed as they met Miorku's, seeing right through him. He was obviously lost in memories from he past. "It was that tree…. That goddamn tree…. If it hadn't gotten in my way…things might have been so different."

In a flash, Inuyasha had risen to his feet and fled, stirring up a cloud of dust and fallen leaves in his wake. Miroku blinked, shocked by the sudden movement. He'd never expected the half-breed to bolt like that, but then he'd never expected him to say so much either.

His dark eyes looked to the imprint Inuyasha's fist had left in the dirt. "There's got to be more going on here than any of us realize."

To be continued…

_Oh dear, and the plot thickens. You'll see just how sadistic Sesshoumaru can be in the next chapter, provided that you review properly XD. Ja ne. _


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm sorry I took so freakin' long to update, everyone! Things have settled down a lot since you last heard from me, so hopefully I'll be able to churn out chapters on a regular basis. If not, just smother me with reviews and I'm sure I'll get to work . Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time, to all my old fans, and to all my new ones who are checking this story out for the first time. Y'all give my writing meaning. _

_As always, be sure to **pay attention to the flashes between times**. If you don't, you'll be easily lost._

_Disclaimer: I own it not; sadly, this is true. _

…

**Sixty Years Ago**

Inuyasha howled with pain, scrunching his eyes closed and tilting his head up to further belt his agony toward the ceiling. Adding insult to injury, he felt a hand sharply slap him across the face, immediately silencing a second howl in his throat.

"Silence, mutt, or we'll make this even harder on you," a cruel voice sneered, devoid of any trace of pity. Another voice joined it, "Mark our words, we can make this more painful than your most gruesome nightmares."

Inuyasha's fangs dug into his bottom lip to hold back a snarled response. Two fierce pairs of golden eyes were boring into his, daring him to make even the slightest noise. The babe held them back, through some small miracle, and the four hands belonging to the two sets of eyes began to work again, wringing pain from his every pore.

White gauze wrapped Inuyasha's wounds tightly, ebbing the trickle of blood that came from a thousand wire-thin cuts. The hands that wrapped the white gauze about him belonged to the two female servants Sesshoumaru had assigned to him, named Lena and Gabi. Inuyasha could say with a clear conscience that he'd never met two more evil creatures in his entire life. All the villagers combined had never come anywhere near this kind of torture.

A smattering of weeks had passed since Inuyasha's first day in the fortress of Inutaisho, and his situation had taken such a steady plunge into utter misery, it made him want to cry. Lena and Gabi—his "personal servants"—were there at every turn to add some new humiliation to his day. They tripped him as he walked, and dug claws into his wrists when he demanded they help him up. They ripped his hair out in clumps when they brushed it in the morning, and shredded his clothing, blaming it on him and his "pathetic excuse for claws". Sesshoumaru had already had to replace his wardrobe several times, and every time he did he lectured Inuyasha in a way that made his stomach churn.

This was why he needed so many bandages.

Whenever he made a mistake, whenever he blundered, whenever he revealed even the smallest flaw…Sesshoumaru would punish him. His skin was sliced open in razor-thin cuts that stung horribly and bled profusely but healed in a matter of seconds. As soon as the old rows were healed, new ones would be made, deeper than before. Even while the cuts faded quickly away, their sting lingered for hours afterwards until Inuyasha ached all over. The bigger the crime, the deeper the cut. Inuyasha's worst punishment of all had come hours before, and he smarted as if Sesshoumaru's hands were still upon him.

Sesshoumaru had ordered Inuyasha to attend tutoring sessions with other demon children in the castle, insisting that the education his mother had provided for him could only be inadequate if it came from a human. He refused to have a brother who was both ignorant _and_ a halfbreed. The shame of one was enough. This morning was supposed to be Inuyasha's first day, and pupils were instructed to rise at dawn. Eager to get his hands on such a tempting education—one that the children back in his village would never come anywhere near—Inuyasha had instructed Lena and Gabi to wake him an extra hour before he needed to be up. In response…they had failed to wake him at all.

Hours later, when it was reported to Sesshoumaru that his disgrace of a brother had not shown up for his lessons, the Taiyoukai furiously questioned the twins. With feigned expressions of surprise and ignorance, the horrid females claimed Inuyasha never told them he had lessons that day and had even gone so far as to instruct them not to wake him until afternoon had well set in.

Inuyasha had been unable to recount his side of the story before Sesshoumaru's hands had a chance to clamp around his neck. He was dragged from bed and taken into the dampest dungeon he'd ever been in, moldy and satiated with tortured screams. There, Sesshoumaru had beaten him more brutally than every beating he'd ever gotten all done at once. His skin crawled with twisting snakes of pain, his blood splattered the ground in warm drops of rusty scarlet, and his every shuddering breath wanted to erupt into a scream of pain.

Inuyasha couldn't stand the look of pleasure in Sesshoumaru's fierce eyes as he flayed his little brother's skin open like raw meat. He couldn't stand the satisfied smirks of Lena and Gabi as they watched on, licking their lips. He couldn't stand the sound of his own weakness as it echoed off the dungeon walls in the form of groans and cries and sobbing.

But most of all, he couldn't stand what Sesshoumaru did next. When his rage was finally spent, and the blows stopped falling…Sesshoumaru would do something Inuyasha couldn't understand. Inuyasha's body lay broken and bruised on the floor, wracked by brutal coughs that shook his whole form like a quivering mass of scarlet. His white hair stuck to him in clumps, matted with blood, sweat, and tears. His eyes stared wide open at Sesshoumaru, terror showing plainly in their youthful depths.

Sesshoumaru stalked closer, kneeling down next to the body as the coughing gradually stilled to ragged breaths. The Taiyoukai reached a clawed hand out, causing Inuyasha to flinch away from what he saw as one final blow, but Sesshoumaru only stroked his hair, tucking a loose strand neatly behind his hanyou ear. And then he would do it. The thing that Inuyasha couldn't stand. When he was finally too exhausted to cry anymore, to hate anymore, to wish so much death and destruction upon his brother that he could hardly stand himself, Sesshoumaru would do it.

Just before Inuyasha slipped away into unconsciousness and Lena and Gabi stepped forward to drag his body back to his room and begin bandaging it with biting nails and rough palms, Sesshoumaru would lean down and press his lips to his brother's. The kiss was tender, sweet in ways the young hanyou couldn't understand. He could hear a purr in the back of Sesshoumaru's throat as the inu youkai leaned so close, close enough to fill Inuyasha's nose with his masculine scent. The hanyou would drift into a black world with his brother's lips still caressing his own, licking every drop of blood gently away.

**Present Day**

Inuyasha could no longer claim to know where he was going. When he'd first torn himself from Miroku in a fit of rage and confusion, he'd intended to head back to the camp and rant some more. As he ran, however, his legs pumping wildly and his hair streaming behind him like a white pennant, some strange instinct seemed to be guiding him. He was turning westward at the whim of a nagging voice in the back of his head. His nose caught no conspicuous scent in that direction, and his eyes had similar trouble finding something unusual. He could come up with no reason why he suddenly felt the need to head in that direction.

Abruptly, the reason appeared before him, just as he broke through the outer edge of a clearing. A figure stood in the dead center, as if waiting for the hanyou to appear. Inuyasha skidded to a halt a few feet in front of the figure, a growl already rumbling in the back of his throat.

"Sesshoumaru," he spat, for the silver-haired Taiyoukai did indeed stand before him. A smug smirk tugged at the corners of the demon's lips, and his gold eyes regarded his younger half-brother with casual amusement. Inuyasha was nothing more than an interesting bump in the road to him. The hanyou hated being pinned under that calculating stare, like a butterfly with wings held firmly in place with contempt. The hanyou hunched low to the ground, ready to spring into an attack if the need arose.

"Yes, brother," Sesshoumaru replied calmly, his voice low and melodic, "it is I, though I dare say you do not seem pleased to see me." Inuyasha snarled at this, feeling his face grow hot with anger. The bastard had a way of talking to him as if he were still a child. The mere sound of his voice lifted the years away and sent him tumbling back to a time when he was just a beaten pup lying in a sticky pool.

"Why, in all the rings of hell, would I be happy to see you?" Inuyasha's voice was so quiet no human would have been able to hear him. Sesshoumaru heard him plainly, though; he could see it in the way his brother's pointed ears twitched in the direction of his voice. Inuyasha defiantly raised his chin, meeting the cold eyes that had so often haunted his childhood dreams. He was no longer a child, and he would prove that if he had to.

"Why, Sesshoumaru, would you think that I have anything but hatred for you?" he continued slowly, lowering his voice to a slick drawl. He rose from his haunches, standing as tall as he could make himself, though he would never match Sesshoumaru. He took a step back, making sure the fierce look in his eyes would plainly tell his pure-blood brother that this was no retreat. He simply wanted space between them. "You were everything that made my life hell. You rescued me from one evil just to send me plunging into another. You _tortured _me." Inuyasha spat the word as if it were a curse. His golden eyes blazed with fury; the memories were catching up to him now.

The smirk on Sesshoumaru's face never flickered for an instant. His eyes were sweeping down Inuyasha's body, sizing him up as if he were a piece of property the inu youkai had a mind to buy. A soft chuckle sounded through the air, matching the ringing tenor that was Sesshoumaru's voice. "Little brother, it is your decision if you choose to dwell on the past, specifically the bad parts. This Sesshoumaru would think someone who has overcome as much as you have with only your feeble hanyou strength would be more willing to look forward."

"How can I look forward when you won't leave me alone?!" Inuyasha snarled, his fingers clenching into white-knuckled fists. Image after image flashed before his eyes until rage boiled within him. He'd thought before that he could handle himself. He'd sworn that he wouldn't let Sesshoumaru get the best of him. He'd vowed a thousand times that he would never again be reduced to the rank of a sniveling child.

He'd lied.

"It's your fault! It's all your fault!" Inuyasha was breathing hard now, battling against the demon blood in him as it surged forward to meet his wrath. "I am what I am because of you. Everything you did to me made me into this thing, this untrusting, beaten, defeated thing that can't even tell if he's really worth something or not! _You did this to me."_

"That is where you are wrong, little one," Sesshoumaru cooed in that maddeningly calm voice of his. "If I had made you what you are, you would be better than this." Sesshoumaru had taken a step closer, and then another. Inuyasha could feel the distance between them closing like the tightening of a noose. He stepped back, keeping the space between them even.

Sesshoumaru's grin grew broader. "Keeping your distance, mutt? Afraid of what I might do to you if I were to get too close?"

"I will never be afraid of you again," Inuyasha swore with vehemence, but Sesshoumaru only laughed. His golden eyes locked on the hanyou with unidentifiable emotion. "I never said you would be afraid. If I were ever near you like I was back when you lived in the castle of our father, fear would be the last thing on your mind. You remember what it was like back in the old days. I know you do; you think about it even now. Back when you were a child and you let me stroke your hair and brush your cheek against mine. You treasured the rare moments when I had no blade pressed to your skin."

Inuyasha had visibly deflated. The things he had been too afraid to tell his friends were coming to surface, along with all his old confusion. His relationship with Sesshoumaru…when he was merely a babe of no more than six years…and later when he had finally grown up…. All of it was so confusing. Sixty years ago, fifty years ago, it all seemed the same to him, the same blurry streak of past.

Abruptly, he realized Sesshoumaru was closing the distance between them while he thought. The demon moved too quickly for Inuyasha to step back again. His brother was before him, scant inches away, boring down into his golden eyes with a look of amusement that belittled Inuyasha to his very core. Slowly, the demon brought a hand up, tucking a strand of Inuyasha's silver mane behind one of his hanyou ears, just as he'd done so long ago. Inuyasha shuddered under his touch…remembering so many other touches…from when he was a babe…and from when he grew up.

"You remember this," Sesshoumaru whispered, never letting his eyes waver for even an instant. "You remember this as if it happened yesterday instead of sixty years ago. You remember what it was like fifty years ago, before you ran off and got yourself sealed to that tree."

Inuyasha opened his mouth to deny it, but Sesshoumaru silenced him with a single slender finger held to the hanyou's lips. The skin was firm and warm and it tortured Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru's lips parted one final time with a murmured goodbye, "You will never forget." And then he was gone.

To be continued….


	5. Chapter 5

_Yay for updating, and thanks to all my beautiful reviewers. This next chapter **CHANGES THE FLASHES WE'VE BEEN HAVING SO FAR THROUGHOUT THE FIC. **Instead of going between Present Day and Sixty Years Ago, the second half of this chapter will have Fifty Years Ago. PAY ATTENTION, or you will get lost. _

_Disclaimer: if I owned it, it'd be rated NC-17 for sure._

…

**Present Day**

Inuyasha stood silently in that clearing for many long hours. The sunset that had been falling around him while he was still consumed with rage from his battle with Naraku had long since faded to the soft gray and somber violets of twilight. The cool night air did nothing to calm the raging blaze within the hanyou. He wondered if he would ever feel normal again while the touch of his brother's finger still burned against his lips.

Gently, he raised his own fingers to the pouty flesh and felt it carefully, as if he expected it to have changed. His face was still the same beneath his fingers, unsurprisingly, though he knew he himself would never be quite the same. That touch…that one single touch that was so different from all the times Sesshoumaru had touched him in battle. That touch meant everything. The gates were open now, and the hanyou very much doubted he had the strength to close them.

"There you are!"

A voice startled Inuyasha from his thoughts. Quickly, he dropped his hand, guilt flashing across his face like a child who'd been caught stealing from a cookie jar. Miroku came striding into the clearing, grinning in a smug way that clearly said he was proud of himself for tracking the hanyou down. Miroku froze for a split second when he saw the odd look on Inuyasha's face; the hanyou could sense the monk's energy probing the air.

Miroku strode over to his friend and quirked an eyebrow. "Sesshoumaru was here? I can sense his energy practically dripping from this area. It feels like he was waiting here for hours and just recently left."

Inuyasha held back a flinch. He'd suspected as much. Sesshoumaru had called him here on purpose. Obviously he'd wanted to gloat over the hanyou. Clawed hands clenched into white-knuckled fists, which Inuyasha quickly hid in the folds of his fire-rat suit to keep Miroku from knowing of his rage. Why couldn't his brother just leave him be?

"Yeah, Sesshoumaru was here. He and I had a good talk." Inuyasha did his best to fill his voice with his usual haughty confidence. He held his breath, hoping the façade would be enough to fool Miroku, and much to his relief the monk nodded understandingly.

"I suspected he would try to find you again; he must want revenge after you got in the way while he was battling Naraku—"

The monk yelped as a fist suddenly slammed into his head. The force of the impact sent Miroku sprawling to the forest floor, and he quickly corrected himself, "I mean, he was the one in the way, not you!"

Inuyasha glared down at his friend and stalked away. Even the monk—who was supposed to be his friend—thought him only second to Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha was in the way. He'd always been nothing more than an annoying pebble in his older brother's shoe.

Inuyasha was suddenly overcome with a desire to make his friends understand. He wanted them to know what Sesshoumaru had really been like all those years ago; he wanted them to know every moment of weakness the Taiyoukai had had…especially the weaknesses he'd had around his little brother. Those were the most important of all. They were what made Inuyasha know that for all Sesshoumaru said about hating Inutaisho for mating a human…Sesshoumaru was not so strong himself. Those weaknesses had kept Inuyasha going for many long years.

"Do you want to know more about my brother, monk?" Inuyasha asked quietly, surprised that he'd managed to force the words past his lips. "Would you like to hear a few stories about my adolescence with him?" Inuyasha smiled bitterly. "I've never spoken a word of this before, but when Kikyou trapped me to that tree with her magic arrow…it had a lot less to do with Naraku than everyone thinks. My brother was very much involved in my capture."

Miroku stared up at Inuyasha with a shocked look on his face. He'd never seen his friend act so strangely before, nor speak in such riddles. What could Sesshoumaru have possibly had to do with Kikyou's arrow? Abruptly, the human climbed to his feet, brushing dirt from his robes as he rose. He nodded slowly in response to the hanyou's question, looking uncertain.

Inuyasha nodded back and folded his arms carefully across his chest. "Like everything in this deranged story that is my life, it all began fifty years ago."

**Fifty Years Ago**

Inuyasha hunched down close to the ground, clenching his claws in packed dirt as he bent over a bend in a small stream. The curve had created a shallow pool of water that was still enough to reflect back, and this was what the young hanyou was gazing into. He scowled at his reflection, turning his face this way and that as he marveled over how much he had changed in so few years. As a hanyou, he didn't have the long lifespan of his pure-blood brother, but that also meant he wouldn't take centuries to develop as Sesshoumaru had.

When his half-brother had first rescued him from the woods and taken him to the castle of their mutual father, Inuyasha had been only six years old, no more than the barest of babes in the inu youkai world. Now, ten years had passed, he had grown into a strapping lad of sixteen, and his brother still appeared no more than a day past nineteen, tall and elegant and unchanged as always. Inuyasha widened his eyes and twisted his face about as he inspected the features that stared back at him. Large golden eyes rimmed by thick lashes, high cheekbones, arching eyebrows, thin lips, and a pleasantly straight nose. He'd noticed the way women around the castle had started looking at him this year. He had grown into a man worthy of the best of them…except for his hanyou blood. The women would stare at him from a distance, but never would they deign to aproach the pathetic mixed-breed.

Inuyasha was startled from his thoughts by the feel of talons clenching in his thick hair and wrenching him back. He yelped and scrambled to get his feet under him, but they were quickly knocked out again. Weight settled over his body along with the sharp spikes of armor and sword hilts; someone was pinning him. Inuyasha managed to free a hand long enough to swipe his thick hair away from his face and identify his opponent.

The impassive, achingly beautiful face of his brother stared back at him from scant inches away. A smirk tugged gently at the corners of Sesshoumaru's lips as he regarded his younger brother's body beneath his, perfectly trapped. "Little brother, this is why vanity is considered a sin. If you spend your days mooning over your own reflection, someday someone will come along and slip a sword between your ribs."

Inuyasha growled, flushing hotly at being caught doing something so silly as staring at himself. He struggled to free his arms, already knowing he was no match for his brother in physical strength. Sesshoumaru had trained him hard over the years, but the Taiyoukai still had centuries of life more than him. It would be quite some time before Inuyasha could consider himself anywhere near his brother's level, if he _ever_ managed to get that far.

Sesshoumaru laughed lightly as he watched his brother wriggle about, trying desperately to free himself like a bird caught in a thistle bush. "Your fight is vain, yet still you carry on with such passion. This is what I love best about you, little brother." Inuyasha's face grew hotter still, and with a burst of strength he managed to throw his brother from him, though he knew Sesshoumaru had let him. Quickly, Inuyasha turned his face away and busied himself with gathering the packs he'd brought along on his trek, using them as an excuse to cover his blushing.

Sesshoumaru was a source of great confusion for him and always had been. Even after ten years of living in such close proximity, Inuyasha was no closer to understanding his brother than he was to understanding why the sun rose and fell over the horizon every day. There were times when Sesshoumaru said things that made his heart flutter in his chest: he said he loved him, he said he was proud of him, he praised the smallest thing Inuyasha accomplished on his own. There were time when his brother stroked his cheek softly and looked at him with such tenderness that Inuyasha felt his heart would burst. There were times when he almost felt he loved Sesshoumaru, too.

But then the moment would pass, and reality would strike Inuyasha hard and mercilessly. He was a hanyou, a weak and sniveling half-blood, and Sesshoumaru seldom missed an opportunity to remind him of that. Sesshoumaru lorded his pure blood over his brother like a king lords his best jewels over the commoners. He destroyed Inuyasha's dignity on a daily basis, beat him hard, and forced him to do menial labor unfitting of even the lowliest of servants in the tremendous castle that had once been their father's.

If Inuyasha muttered even a single word of complaint, he was punished in ways even his nightmares couldn't match. His white skin was shredded to match his shredded pride, and all the while Sesshoumaru would smirk as if it was the most joyous fun to destroy what little his brother had. Sometimes, Inuyasha honestly believed he would never be anything more than his brother's favorite toy.

"Sesh," Inuyasha called over his shoulder as he riffled through his packs, "how much further do we have to go today before we're back at the castle?" He half expected his brother to punch him for using the nickname he sometimes adopted. Calling his brother "Sesh" was always a gamble; sometimes it was tolerated, other times it was met by a beating that knocked the thinking out of him. Inuyasha secretly suspected that his brother enjoyed the name, but he had to make sure Inuyasha used it cautiouslydiscreetly for fear that another inu youkai would hear.

Sesshoumaru let the name slide and answered his brother's question in a mocking tone, "If you are too tired to travel for another few hours, we can always camp here and rest your pathetic hanyou muscles."

Inuyasha bit back a caustic remark, as he had learned to do over the years. He knew better than to argue at this point. Sesshoumaru had been baiting him ever since they'd first left on their routine scouting mission, and so far Inuyasha had managed to keep a hold on his tongue. After a pause, in which Sesshoumaru determined Inuyasha had wisely chosen not to rise to his bait, the Taiyoukai continued, "It should not take more than a few hours to reach the fortress from this point, and once we have arrived, I will be placing you in charge again. I have business to attend to in the country that neighbors our southern border."

Inuyasha's ears perked up at this. The first time his brother had given him command of the other inu youkai, he'd been shocked beyond belief, as had every demon in the castle. Never had he entertained the idea of leading his father's people, but it seemed Sesshoumaru had deemed him worthy of the task, if only for a short time. He'd struggled with the task at first but gradually gotten the hang of it, enough so that it became a regular routine for Sesshoumaru to leave and have Inuyasha stand in his place. The other youkai had even come to respect the hanyou's command where once they had ignored it. Inuyasha knew this was only because his brother ordered the execution of any that disobeyed him, but a small part of him liked to think he might have some leadership skills buried within him.

Only one thing about his brother's frequent absences still bothered him. As much as Inuyasha loved an opportunity to prove himself, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious about what Sesshoumaru did while he was away. His brother was not the sociable type, even if he was a fantastic commander. He couldn't imagine his brother spending time getting to know the people and diplomats of other demon nations. So what did his brother really do while he was away?

With a start, Inuyasha realized he'd been staring intently at his brother's face as he mulled this over; his gaze had been so intense he'd actually drawn his brother's notice to it, and Sesshoumaru raised a fine eyebrow in question. "Did you need something, Inuyasha?"

"I…um…I was just wondering about somethin'," Inuyasha quickly stammered, attempting to turn away again and hide yet another flushed face. Before he could, however, he felt his chin become snared in a firm, icy grip and forced up until his golden eyes met those of a matching hue. In a fraction of a second, his brother had closed the distance between them and pinned him again beneath his shimmering gaze. "What were you wondering, little brother?" the demon intoned smoothly. He cocked his head to the side, which made silver, silky hair spill across his shoulders in a fantastic cascade. "Tell me."

Inuyasha binked slowly, trying to collect his wits. "I…I was just wondering what you do on those trips of yours."

A fine line creased the porcelain skin between his brother's brows. "Why?"

Inuyasha shrugged quickly, feigning indifference and already knowing his brother would see right through it. Sesshoumaru considered his face for a moment, then abruptly released his chin, taking a step back. Inuyasha looked up at him with a slight twinge of fear in his eyes. His brother didn't look angry, but it was usually when he looked the most calm that he delivered the worst beatings. Had Inuyasha somehow asked a sensitive question? Was Sesshoumaru angry?

Much to Inuyasha's surprise, Sesshoumaru was almost smiling when he spoke next. "I've forgotten how much you've grown in ten years. It is high time you started learning the ways of diplomacy." Shock was scrawled across Inuyasha's face as his brother carefully continued. "You are old enough now to come with me to the neighboring countries. I will not allow my own blood to grow up ignorant of the outside world. On this next trip, you will accompany me to the southern nations."

Inuyasha could do nothing more than nod slowly.

To be continued…

_Tee hee, smut is quickly approaching, my patient reviewers. Give me lots of feedback, and it will come all the quicker._


	6. Chapter 6

_Much as I love you guys, if one more person asks me why I allegedly chose to "abandon" this story, I'm going to get a little testy --. I HAVE NOT and WILL NOT EVER abandon this, so stop asking. Just because I take a while to update doesn't mean anything other than I have a busy schedule. Patience is a virtue, my loves_. A_nd so the legacy of Sesshy/Inu love continues. Now we're REALLY getting into the good stuff. Reviews are greatly appreciated, as always, and I look forward to hearing from all of you._

_Disclaimer: I own it not, sadly this is true._

…

**Present Day**

"Stop giving me that moony look already," Inuyasha growled, reaching out a clawed hand to smack Miroku on the back of the head. "I don't need you and your calf-eyes making this any harder than it already is."

Miroku rubbed the back of his head without taking his eyes from Inuyasha's face. He'd barely remembered to blink this past hour or so. The story Inuyasha was pouring out to him was unlike anything he'd ever expected from the demon. The way Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru acted towards each other in the present suggested they had little to no history together. Obviously, their relationship went far deeper than anyone but them fully comprehended.

"Please, Inuyasha, continue," the monk pleaded, enraptured in the tale. Grief, loss, abuse, strength, and the strange bond demon siblings shared…what more could you ask for in a story without dancing naked women? And Miroku could sense much more in Inuyasha's words than just their obvious meaning. There was an edge to his voice, a sharpness in his eyes, that belied so much more. This story had an electric undercurrent that hadn't yet reached the surface; Miroku could sense it in the goosebumps creeping down his arms. His curiosity nearly made him itch. What was Inuyasha leaving out of the story?

The monk knew there was something missing, something big. He'd learned everything from the point where Sesshoumaru had rescued Inuyasha as a babe in the forest to where he'd invited him to the southern nations to learn diplomacy. Then Inuyasha had paused, as if afraid of his own words, only to realize that Miroku was staring at him so hard his eyes were nearly popping out of his skull. And so the hanyou had found the perfect excuse to stop and sort through his thoughts: physical violence.

Miroku's skull still throbbed where the blow had landed, but he knew better than to complain lest he divert the thick-witted hanyou entirely from the story. He _had _to know what happened next. It reminded him of the bent-paged novels Kagome always had in that pack of hers, the ones with pictures of muscled men holding swooning females in a number of exotic locations. The summaries on the back covers were always so loaded with sordid intrigue, it was all Miroku could do to keep himself from turning the first page right then and there. He would have on more than one occasion if Kagome hadn't assured him these books were made for sex-deprived teenage girls like herself. Even so, he was tempted.

But now it seemed he had a real-life novel plopped in front of him, and the pages were slowly but surely turning. The question was, how many chapters left until the end? Had this little intrigue even reached an ending yet? Miroku propped his chin up on his hand and stared fixedly at Inuyasha, who had gone completely silent and was now staring at his feet.

"So tell me, what happened between you and your brother in the southern nations?" Inuyasha started at the sound of Miroku's voice as if he'd been shocked. His golden eyes widened to twin moons as they searched the monk's face. Miroku saw a brief flash of emotion in those eyes…guilt? Is that what he saw? But why would Inuyasha feel….

Abruptly, the hanyou climbed to his feet, tearing his eyes from Miroku to look anywhere, everywhere else. "I need to take a walk." The monk's mouth fell open in surprise, but before he could utter a single syllable of protest, Inuyasha vanished. Miroku cursed loudly, something he didn't often do in the name of his religion. "Just as it was getting good…" His face twisted bitterly at the thought of losing such an intriguing story just as it seemed to be reaching its climax. He would have to force Inuyasha to continue when he saw him next.

Unaware of the dark mutterings he was receiving from the monk, Inuyasha used his demonic speed to nearly fly through the woods, his white hair streaming behind him like a pennant. He turned away from the place where he knew his friends had made camp for the night. Miroku would undoubtedly be expecting him to return there, and once he did the monk would give him no peace until the half-breed finished his story. Inuyasha was surprised he'd told as much as he had, and he had no intention of continuing where he'd left off. The monk's last question had struck a foul cord within him: _What happened between you and your brother…? _

So innocently asked, yet not so innocently answered.

Inuyasha turned from the direction of the campsite and toward the one place where he knew he could get the three things he needed right now: peace, shelter, and no questions asked.

Kaede's hut.

His light footsteps found the familiar path with ease, tracing over well-worn lines in the verdant grass. How many times had he been this way in such a short time period? Funny what one shattered mystical relic could do to widen your social circles. It was hard for him to imagine that he'd ever lived the way he once had. His life after Kagome had freed him from the arrow's spell was so dramatically different from his life with Kikyo…and especially from his life with Sesshoumaru.

Quick footfalls brought him careening out of the forest and along a number of dusty dirt roads, whizzing past little houses and fields. He spotted Kaede in the vegetable garden just outside her hut, still awake even at this time of night. She was bent over to pluck a weed from the earth, but something about the languid motion of her hand told Inuyasha she was really there to wait for him. His lip curled up slightly in distaste. He hated the thought of being predictable. She glanced up at the sound of his approach: a hurried whoosh of wind displaced by the speed of his sprint. She offered him the same smile of greeting that she always offered, one of cautious familiarity. A woman as old and wise as her would never stop being cautious toward any demon, even Inuyasha.

"I assume you need a place to bed down for the night," Kaede said mildly without even the slightest hint of question in her voice. Inuyasha frowned but did not recant her assumption, allowing himself to be waved into the hut with one slow swipe of the old woman's wrinkled hand. The smell of hot stew wafted to his nose the moment he stepped inside, and he realized it had been quite some time since his last meal. Kaede poured two bowls of stew and waited for Inuyasha to seat himself near the crackling fire before handing one of them to him without a word. The hanyou shoved his face in eagerly, slurping the food down as if he hadn't known it existed before now. He continued through three bowls before he realized Kaede herself wasn't eating, merely watching him.

He stopped abruptly and set his bowl aside, his sharp golden gaze meeting the watered-down eyes of the old woman. Silently, the two regarded each other, mentally battling to see who would be the first to break the silence. Inuyasha, strong as he was, hadn't yet learned the same patience as Kaede and quickly lost the mental struggle.

"I just needed to get away for a while," he answered the unspoken question between them. "Two much time around humans and little runts like Shippo and that cat of Sango's can really mess with a demon's mentality."

"You lie," Kaeade replied simply, stirring her now-cold stew with a wooden spoon. "But that is your choice. I am not going to force from you a story you do not desire to tell. And make no mistake, there is in fact a story behind all this. I can see it wriggling in your eyes like a fish on a hook, trying to break free."

Inuyasha blinked. The old woman had a nasty habit of sensing things that he'd rather she didn't. He growled softly, knowing she was perfectly right. He wanted to unburden his soul after all these years. He simply lacked the courage to do so. He licked his lips slowly. "You got it, old hag, I _would_ like to tell. But there's one little problem with that. No one but me could possibly understand the story on my mind. The only people who really get it are me and Sesshoumaru."

"So this _does_ involve the Taiyoukai of the West," Kaede interjected knowingly. "I thought as much."

Inuyasha bit his lip angrily. He hadn't said anything he considered a big secret, but the way she'd reacted made his words seem far more important than he thought. Perhaps she knew more than he gave her credit for.

"I will tell you this, Inuyasha," Kaede fixed him squarely in her sharp gaze. "Running now will do you no more good than it has for the past few decades. If you don't feel that you can share this burden with your friends, then you need to return to the source and free yourself from it that way. You cannot continue as you are, a haunted wraith that flees from shadows of the past. Confront the feelings that you fear, and let that be that."

Inuyasha stared, wide-eyed and motionless. Her words shot straight to his heart like one of Kagome's arrows. She'd said exactly what he'd feared doing all along but had known he would have to do. The only way to obtain peace was to seek out the one who caused him such unrest.

He would have to track down Sesshoumaru.

So many years had passed, so many things had happened between them…and now it was time to finally face it all.

Inuyasha stared into the fire for a moment, watching curls of smoke branch off as if he wished to float off with them. He gathered his resolve slowly, blocking out all thoughts but those that would allow him to reach his destination. He knew where to find Sesshoumaru, just as he had always known since that day he'd been rescued from a burning forest.

Now all he had to do was follow through.

Inuyasha nodded to Kaede as he rose and made for the exit. The woman said not a word, but he sensed that in her mind she was sending with him prayers for strength and victory. She wished him success, and that was enough to get him out the door and into the cool night air.

**Fifty Years Ago**

Inuyasha's ears were ringing with the distant sound of violins and flutes, but not even this discomfort could displace the wide grin on his face. His muscles ached, his belly was full to a ridiculous degree, his white hair was matted with sweat, and he was quite possibly happier than he had ever been in his entire life.

"You did well tonight, little brother," a detached voice floated to Inuyasha's ears from across the room. The hanyou was sprawled over a large canopy bed and couldn't see his brother, but he knew Sesshoumaru's breathtaking face held a small smile of approval on it.

"All thanks to you, Sesh. You taught me everything I know about diplomacy." Inuyasha propped his sore body up on his elbows and grinned at his brother. Sesshoumaru stood before an ornate, full-sized mirror, roving golden eyes over his immaculate appearance. They had attended the same ball together, danced the same dances, but of course Sesshoumaru showed not the slightest sign of fatigue.

"You took to it with surprising ease, however." Sesshoumaru brushed a silky strand of silver hair behind his pointed ear, then turned from his appearance and directed his attention to his brother. "For your first appearance outside of inu youkai territory, I believe you made an acceptable impression. Perhaps this was a good idea after all."

Inuyasha's smile broadened further, creasing his supple teenage skin. From Sesshoumaru, this was high praise indeed. With an excited leap, the hanyou propelled himself from the bed and landed beside his brother, twirling around slightly as he tried to remember the dance moves he'd been taught only hours before. He'd expected nothing but public humiliation when Sesshoumaru had informed him that their first stop outside inu youkai territory was a ball held by a note-worthy demon lord. Balls meant dancing, and Inuyasha no more knew how to dance than he knew how to fly. Luckily, Sesshoumaru had sensed this and stayed by his side for the duration, insisting that they dance only with each other until Inuyasha learned the steps.

The half-demon was proud to say it hadn't taken him more than an hour of clumsy fumbling to understand the general concept behind a waltz, even with his brother's iron grip acting as his only guide. He'd expected Sesshoumaru to torment him, embarrass him, make this as difficult as possible, but his brother had surprised him with his fluidity, his sensuousness, his charm on the dance floor. It brought heat to his cheeks even now to think of how their bodies had melded together so perfectly, Sesshoumaru's natural grace compensating for Inuyasha's lack of experience. With a little practice, they had come to flow like water.

Inuyasha's brow furrowed as a funny thought entered his head. Sesshoumaru, a stoic persona, had naturally refused to dance with the numerous demonic beauties, both male and female, that had approached him while he was tutoring Inuyasha, but… that hadn't stopped once Inuyasha had learned the steps. The two could have parted an hour or two into the ball and been fine. But Sesshoumaru had stayed loyally by Inuyasha's side until the very end, and then he'd whooshed them both out of the demon lord's Grand Hall and into the large, ornate room they'd been given for the night. Sesshoumaru had even met the few demons that had wanted to dance with Inuyasha with an icy glare cold enough to freeze hell-fire.

The young half-demon was suddenly angry by this realization. He thought that Sesshoumaru was giving him a chance to act like an adult by coming here. Instead, his pure-blooded brother was guarding him like a toddler about to make some mortifying error. And all the while, the only thing Inuyasha's mind could linger on was how right it had felt to twine his body with his brother's….

"What are you thinking, little one?" The light question broke through Inuyasha's troubled thoughts. The hanyou looked up to find his brother's gaze concentrated forcefully on him, belying the light tone in his words. "You appear troubled. Is something amiss?"

Inuyasha frowned, further agitated by the way his brother spoke to him, mocking him with his impassive questions. "Yes, something's wrong. You didn't leave my side the entire night."

"You would rather I had left you to flounder?" One fine eyebrow raised in amusement, dispelling the smooth perfection of Sesshoumaru's face like a ripple across a still pond.

Inuyasha growled. "Of course not. Not right away, at least. But I got the hang of it quickly enough, I think. You could have let me dance with those people who asked." His face darkened as he added sarcastically, "And I'm sure you were dying to dance with all the gorgeous demons flocking to you."

The amusement in Sesshoumaru's face disappeared entirely. "I did not wish for you to dance with anyone other than myself tonight."

Inuyasha was surprised by the blunt honesty. "Why?"

"I am your kin, little one, and your mentor. I claimed entirely for myself the right to be by your side throughout your first experience outside your home. If anyone had sincerely attempted to interfere with that, I do believe I would have killed them."

The hanyou couldn't hold back his anger any longer. His brother was still treating him like a child, after all this. "I'm not some pathetic hanyou babe running away from attacking villagers anymore! Why can't you trust me to take care of myself? Why can't you treat me like an adult?"

Inuyasha felt himself flying back, his brother's movements too quick for him to follow with anything but pure sensation. Before he could blink, he found himself pressed back against the chamber's far wall, Sesshoumaru's hand holding his neck in a cool, firm grip.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru whispered softly, disturbing a strand of hair that had fallen just before his lips. He brushed this strand carefully away with his free hand, his golden eyes never leaving Inuyasha's. "I am aware of the fact that you can, for the most part, care for yourself. But the fact of the matter is, I would not still tolerate your presence if I had not come to enjoy caring for you to a certain extent. As for your other question…." Sesshoumaru trailed off, and Inuyasha jerked with surprise as he felt the fingers from his brother's free hand slide beneath the folds of the long dress kimono he'd donned for the occasion.

The hanyou tried to look down and see what his brother was doing, but the hand on his throat held fast. Inuyasha could only watch his brother's face with wide-eyed surprise as Sesshoumaru leaned toward his ear, his long fingers brushing over the scars that littered Inuyasha's back like bloody autumn leaves. "Little brother, don't you remember all the times I treated you like an adult?" His brother's fingers were caressing the scars, almost affectionately. The touch sent shivers down Inuyasha's spine, combined with wave after wave of unwanted memories. Sesshoumaru had given him these scars. Too many beatings to count. Inuyasha swallowed thickly: afraid, enraged, and strangely allured.

"Let go of me, Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha's voice came out rough with mixed emotions. His body trembled under the touch, trembled in ways he didn't understand. His brother meant so much to him, more than any other being on the face of the planet. And not all of the meanings were good.

"And if I refuse?" Sesshoumaru was taunting him now, running his sharp fingernails along the scars, threatening to slice them open again, and yet sending the strangest feeling of enjoyment tingling along Inuyasha's skin. It startled the hanyou to realize he liked being touched this way. But did he like it for what it was, or did he like the fact that Sesshoumaru was the one doing this to him?

Too many questions.

"Sesshoumaru, please, let go of me," Inuyasha pleaded, trying to keep the note of desperation from his voice. Sesshoumaru heard it anyway and smirked. "I do so love to hear you beg, little brother, with this soft little lips of yours." Sesshoumaru's eyes drifted down to Inuyasha's mouth. The half-demon tensed for reasons that he didn't understand. The way his brother was looking at him…something about it made him nervous.

Sesshoumaru's next words were oddly serene. "I wonder if those lips carry the taste of your begging on them."

Before Inuyasha could react, before he could even register what was happening to him, Sesshoumaru's lips were pressed lightly to his, the barest flicker of a touch.

For such a small action, the effect was electrifying. Inuyasha felt his entire body grow taut with sensation; it filled him like water spilling over from a bowl. His heartbeat fluttered insanely in his chest, and goosebumps crept along his skin. A mighty shiver slid along his spine, physically shaking his body beneath Sesshoumaru's hands. And all the while those perfect, caressing lips that belonged to his brother did not leave him.

It was the very embodiment of pure, undiluted sensation.

Inuyasha's mind exploded with irrational thought. He knew not what this was, but if it could force such potent emotions from him, he wanted nothing to do with it.

Strength he didn't know he had suddenly erupted from his limbs. With a mighty shove, he sent Sesshoumaru reeling away from him and watched a look of shock come over the Taiyoukai's face for an instant before he composed himself. Sesshoumaru regarded him with the same calm impassivity that was his trademark, as if nothing at all had just happened between them.

But then, in his apathetic eyes, perhaps nothing had happened. Just a touching of flesh to flesh, like a thousand other little touches they'd shared.

Inuyasha's chest was heaving with frantic breaths. He couldn't seem to control it. He wanted nothing more than to be far, far away from his brother right now.

As if sensing his wish, Sesshoumaru turned gracefully away from his brother and glided from the room, turning his head back only once to call back at Inuyasha, "Well, little one, you continue to surprise me." In an instant, he was gone, and Inuyasha was left alone, as he always was even when Sesshoumaru stood beside him.

To be continued….


	7. Chapter 7

_Salutations, loyal readers. I'm quite pleased to present you with yet another chapter of Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha goodness. Enjoy, and remember not to read if you don't like yaoi and incest, though I dunno why you'd read up to this point without liking those things. Without further ado, I welcome you to chapter seven. _

_Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine, for 'tis not yaoi enough. _

Fifty Years Ago 

"Why must my life be so complicated?" Inuyasha grumbled to himself as he rolled over onto his back, staring up at an exquisite afternoon sky that he normally would have taken much pleasure in. The gardens outside of his father's fortress had burst into bloom during his absence. The air was sweet and cool, and colorful flowers of every variety surrounded him in patches, like scattered jewels. A light layer of morning dew still coated the flowers—not yet evaporated by the shining sun—and they glinted all the more as a result.

But Inuyasha barely took note of the dazzling display around him, lost in his own destructive train of thought. He hadn't talked to his brother since that night after the ball. Hell, he hadn't even seen him. The next morning, a servant had woken him and informed him that he was welcome to stay longer if he liked, but his brother Sesshoumaru had already departed for home. Inuyasha's shock had left him speechless for a long moment afterwards. Sesshoumaru had left him? That made so little sense to the hanyou after the possessiveness his stoic brother had shown the night before. What could motivate Sesshoumaru to abandon him like that? What had Inuyasha done?

The hanyou had trudged immediately home, determined to seek his sibling out and demand answers to his many questions. Every attempt he made to contact Sesshoumaru, or even find the Taiyoukai, was thwarted by servants, guards, and advisors, all of which assured him his brother was too busy to be disturbed. Inuyasha—showing his usual amount of patience—gave several earfuls worth of angry ranting to the lot of them before storming out of the fortress to work off his anger in the gardens. He'd sprinted down the many serpentine paths throughout the extensive castle grounds at top speed, narrowly avoiding smacking into several massive trees by mere inches as well as gunning down other youkai patrolling the area. His behavior was reckless, dangerous, and stupid: the perfect relief for the tension building up inside of him.

He'd finally come to stop on the edge of a Sakura tree orchard, the most prized of all within the Western Lands. The trees grew thick and tall, their bark a silvery shade of black that positively glowed in the sunlight like ebony. Delicate petals swirled along the ground in miniature cyclones, twining with the branches of the trees from whence they'd come like children running into the arms of their parents. If the sky hadn't been such a perfect shade of spring blue, Inuyasha might have thought it was snowing. Now he lay beneath one of the trees, curled into the roots and staring up at the sky through a maze of branches above him. Just as his life was beginning to make sense, it had once again taken the liberty of turning itself topsy-turvy.

It seemed Fate was determined to leave him without a moments' peace. As a babe, he'd turned to his mother for answers only to have her snatched from his arms in a breath of fire. Then his brother had presented a single stable foundation—albeit a cruel and pretentious one. But now even that ounce of familiarity had been snatched away. Why had his brother touched him the way he had? What had Sesshoumaru been thinking? Inuyasha could stand the mocking words. He could stand the pain. He'd grown used to it over the years. What he couldn't stand was not knowing. What does Sesshoumaru think of him? Was he still just some pathetic half-breed in need of care? Was he still a burden?

Inuyasha no longer understood his place in the world.

He shifted with surprise as a faint noise suddenly reached his ears, making them perk up with interest. Inuyasha raised his torso up on his elbows and glanced around, trying to locate the source of the sound. The many Sakura branches prevented him from seeing more than a few feet in front of his face, and the scent of the blossoms was so strong he doubted even his pure-blooded brother would be able to sense a person within the orchard.

Cautiously, Inuyasha rose to his feet, hanging onto the noise that he now recognized as footsteps. He placed them somewhere within the center of the orchard, but he couldn't tell what was making them or even what direction they were traveling. With the inbred agility of his people, Inuyasha sprang into the nearest branch he could reach, jumping from one to the next silently, stirring not a single floating blossom from its tranquil path. His golden eyes scanned the area continuously as he wound his way closer and closer to the center of the orchard, searching for an intruder. His inability to see made his search difficult, but he covered the ground between himself and the footsteps as thoroughly as he could. With a mighty spring, he leapt into the top of the tallest tree he'd encountered thus far and paused to catch his breath before preparing to launch himself again.

Suddenly, his trail went dead cold. He could no longer hear any movement at all.

Inuyasha cursed under his breath and froze in the branch he'd been about to leap from. This small failure on top of his already turbulent emotions felt like yet another load placed upon his already breaking back. Dejected, he looked to the ground for a decent place to jump down.

It was then that Inuyasha spotted him.

At the base of the very tree he now stood crouched in was Inuyasha's own brother: Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western lands.

The hanyou could not have been more shocked if the Devil himself had been hosting a barbeque just below him. It dawned on Inuyasha that the Sakura he currently occupied was the largest because it was the oldest and therefore the center of the orchard. He remembered hearing some of the groundskeepers talking about this tree before, and the orchard that had been nurtured around it. Some old legends even claimed that the ancestors of the Western Lands had chosen the location of the fortress in which Inuyasha now lived specifically because it overlooked this beautiful and ancient tree.

Somehow, it seemed fitting that Sesshoumaru would select the base of this tree for his resting place.

And that was exactly what the Taiyoukai was doing: resting. He lay within the protruding roots of the tree, his body perfectly straight and meticulously placed. Inuyasha remembered the way he had curled himself into the roots of his own tree and could not understand how anyone could sleep as if their body was a board. Sesshoumaru pulled it off with dignity and pride, however, just as he did everything. Inuyasha watched him for a long moment, feeling his brother's breathing and heartbeat as vibrations in the air. Slowly, both began to steady and deepen, signifying the onslaught of heavy sleep. The half-breed supposed that Sesshoumaru must not have slept the night before in his haste to return home and abandon Inuyasha in the clutches of a foreign land.

A number of scrolls, inkbottles, and blank sheets of parchment lay next to the sleeping inu youkai. Inuyasha peered at them curiously, but they seemed to be nothing more than tallies of supplies in the castle and a few guard schedules.

"I suppose even the Lord of the Western Lands has paperwork to deal with," Inuyasha muttered darkly. He hopped swiftly down from his branch, taking extra care not to disturb the ground upon which he landed for fear that the vibration would awaken his brother. An awkward meeting between himself and the demon he'd been seeking all day was the last thing Inuyasha needed right now. He sat quietly back on his haunches, observing the Taiyoukai before him in this rare moment of vulnerability.

A few dainty blossoms had come to rest on Sesshoumaru's breast, disturbed only by the youkai's mild breathing. His silvery hair was spread around him like a cloak of fallen moonlight. His chest rose and fell steadily, but his body was otherwise still. Inuyasha was struck by the image of his brother lying like this, so quiet and motionless. He looked like a statue carved from the purest marble, stark white and frail like butterfly wings. The hanyou felt his fingers twitch; he longed to reach a hand out and brush Sesshoumaru's cheek, just to prove that the Taiyoukai was in fact made of living sinew and not the porcelain he so flawlessly resembled.

"Gods, he's beautiful," Inuyasha breathed, awestruck by the realization. His brother was a perfect lily glistening in the light. It wasn't simply his looks that gave him such a pristine appearance, but the way he treated the world around him. Sesshoumaru's detachment—the shield behind which he kept the emotions Inuyasha could only assume he felt—was what set him apart from the rest. The ugliness of the world cannot mar one who never dirties his hands in it. Sesshoumaru was unreachable: the snow-capped peak of the highest mountain in the world. Inuyasha stared at his own hands, suddenly disgusted that he had ever allowed them to touch something so clean. He felt foul by comparison. His dirty blood could never match the purity of Sesshoumaru's.

Inuyasha felt an icy chill slither across his skin as he finally began to realize why his brother hated him so much.

This moment was too profound for words. Understanding dawned on the hanyou like the first precious rays of sun skittering across a night sky. The scars made sense to him now. All the years of abuse and mistreatment were vindicated in his eyes. His brother had slowly but surely been teaching Inuyasha a very valuable lesson about himself. Sesshoumaru was a monster, in his own subtle way. Such a being should not rightfully exist in the world alongside all the beasts that slave in the mud. His perfection stood as his only imperfection. The affairs of others were of no consequence to the Taiyoukai, and so Sesshoumaru stood alone. Or did he stand alone because he refused to let even a single mark be left upon him?

That was the lesson he had given Inuyasha.

By taking the hanyou to his side, by saving his life, Sesshoumaru had allowed a mark to be placed upon him. A single spot had marred his perfection, a spot that held within it the potential to devour everything that Sesshoumaru was. And so he'd put Inuyasha in his place. The scars inflicted upon the half-breed were a symbol of the differences between the pure and the dirty. For the one mark Inuyasha had given Sesshoumaru, Sesshoumaru had returned a thousand more.

A whoosh of breath escaped from Inuyasha like a deflating balloon. Everything that touched his brother seemed wrong somehow. Sesshoumaru belonged in a universe of white snow that bore no footprints but his own.

Before he could think of what he was doing, Inuyasha reached for one of the blank papers that lay beside the sleeping demon. He spread it out flat before him along with a bottle of ink that he quickly opened. A single claw was dipped into the ink, and then Inuyasha's hands seemed to move of their own accord. He'd been trained in art as he'd been trained in everything, but having no particular interest in the subject, he'd failed to flourish in it. This time, however, he could mark no ill marks. The sketch he quickly scribbled on the paper was one he could not have gotten wrong if he'd tried. The model had made too deep an impact on him for Inuyasha to dare misrepresent him.

It was Sesshoumaru, bare of all offending clothing that did not deserve to adorn the body of perfection. He stood alone: still, tranquil, looking down at a scene of sprawling countryside from a heavenly vantage point. He seemed to laugh at the unfolding lives below him without a drop of expression on his face. His eyes were the only spark of life within him, the only proof that a God had not carved him from the mountain itself to watch over the world for Eternity.

Inuyasha stared at the portrait for endless moments, confused by this thing he had done. Guilt ran through him like an electric charge, though he could not understand why. Somehow, he knew that he had done so much more than create a drawing. This portrait bore little relevance to the physical; it spoke volumes of the consequences that can arise when lives are twined together. A Portrait of a Demon it was, and so much more than that.

Tears pricked painfully at his eyes, forcing him to look away from the image he had conceived. In a flurry of startled movement, he fled the scene, more uncertain than he had ever been before.

His movements caused a stir. In the split second it took for Inuyasha to flee, another set of golden eyes fluttered open. Sesshoumaru could smell his brother's presence. He knew the hanyou had been seeking him all day, and he'd known he was in the orchard from the moment he'd entered it. The Taiyoukai had given Inuyasha too little credit, however, since he'd assumed the hanyou would not dare step foot near him while he slept.

Molten eyes scanned the scene, settling on a discarded scrap of paper that reeked of his brother's youki. With delicacy that did not hide the deadliness of his movement, Sesshoumaru plucked the paper up and glanced at it. A fine eyebrow rose in question as his shimmering eyes took in the scene scrawled upon it, too perfect to have been made with generic ink and clumsy claws. Understanding dawned on Sesshoumaru much in the way it had dawned on Inuyasha. It seemed the mutt was capable of deeper thoughts than he'd reckoned.

"So this is what haunts my little brother's mind," Sesshoumaru mused to himself. "His education is nearly complete." Sesshoumaru folded the portrait carefully and tucked it into his robes before settling back down into his nap. The curtain was not yet ready to rise on the final scene of Inuyasha's tragedy… but the time was not long in coming.

To Be Continued….


	8. Chapter 8

_Sorry for taking so long to churn this chapter out. I had a whole mess of college applications to do, none of which were due for months, but my overly-organized self had to finish them all in the matter of weeks. Some of the mistakes I saw later on were hilarious; that's what I get for rushing. I put the wrong birthday on one XD; and to think, they tell me I'm a genius. Anyways, now that they're squared away, I have nothing but senior year between me and my beloved yaoi. Not enough to deter me for long. Without further ado, I present the next installment of my beloved 'Portrait of a Demon'._

_Disclaimer: Ah, the things I would do with the money I might have made if only I were a middle-aged Japanese woman with incredible talent for drawing and devising plot… Kudos to Takahashi-sensei. _

**Fifty Years Ago**

Night had fallen harshly over the Western Lands: a blanket of tar to which no single speck of color could seem to stick. Inuyasha tossed restlessly in his bed, just as he had been for the past several hours. Sometime before dawn he'd decided he would go stark-raving mad if he let his tumultuous thoughts torment him for another moment longer. Sleep had seemed a convenient reprieve from the confusion and doubt raging within him. The only flaw in his plan had become apparent the moment his mane of white hair had hit his pillow. There was no way Sleep could hope to outrun his racing thoughts.

He lay in bed and counted the seconds ticking slowly by, miserable beyond reckoning. Every now and then he let his eyes sweep across the chamber that had been his since the moment he'd set foot in the Western Lands fortress, noting how the progression of the sun had painted the walls in differing shades of sunset, dusk, and eventually midnight. The chamber was neither particularly lavish nor lacking in proper aesthetics. It had certainly grown much smaller to him over the years, as Inuyasha transformed from an abused hanyou pup to a hardened young male, bristling with the power of youthful bitterness.

His furniture was simple and elegant, consisting of the ivory canopy bed upon which he now lay—piled with an assortment of stiff linens and angular pillows—and other blandly chosen essentials: a desk and chair, an armoire, a sculpted floor-length mirror, and a wardrobe for his few daily clothes and a number of barely-worn dress robes that Sesshoumaru had ordered tailored for him when they'd first left on their diplomatic missions. The Taiyoukai would 'not allow Inuyasha to embarrass him before the other lords by making it look as though he could not afford to clothe his mutt brother', even if said mutt wasn't entirely deserving of the finery.

The room was spotlessly clean, a factor that had changed once Sesshoumaru had finally dismissed Lena and Gabi, the tortuous twins who had haunted his childhood. Those two despicable Harpies had made certain to leave his room in a constant, reeking state of disorder when it had still been their job to care for him. Thankfully, that had only lasted for a few years, until Sesshoumaru had seemingly grown bored with punishing him for miraculously managing to turn his room into a disaster after every time the twins had "cleaned" it.

Claiming that Inuyasha was an adult now and therefore responsible for his own messes, Sesshoumaru had courteously freed Lena and Gabi from the position of Inuyasha's personal servants. The two had appeared almost reluctant to go—a sure sign that they'd hoped for many more chances to torment the hanyou—but Sesshoumaru paid them generously for their trouble and sent them on their way. Inuyasha had spent that entire day mentally going over every gift he'd ever received in his lifetime, unsurprised to realize that not a single one of them had ever made him so ecstatically happy.

Inuyasha had made a point of keeping his quarters immaculate from that moment forward, as if this would prove to his brother that he was not the slovenly fool that his servants had made him out to be. Sesshoumaru took no notice of Inuyasha's living habits, of course, or if he did he failed to comment on them. Regardless, Inuyasha preferred clean living. Oddly enough, it served to remind him that this empty and impersonal castle was not his real home.

His room contained absolutely no personal effects in it, minus an onyx comb inlaid with mother-of-pearl that he used to sort out the tangled mass that his hair often became and perhaps a loose sheet of parchment now and then. Inuyasha kept his room this way on purpose. Filling this room with himself would not make it any more cheerful. It would simply heighten the contrast he felt when he stepped out into the indifferent castle beyond its doors and filtered among the equally indifferent youkai. An attempt at leaving a personal mark in any part of the stone castle encasing him would only depress him. Instead, he used the room that had been labeled his for one simple task: helping him remember what it had been like to sleep in his mother's arms. Their little run-down hut in the village of his nightmares was the only true home Inuyasha had ever known. There was truth in the adage he'd heard his mother say sometimes: home is where the heart is. His heart lay with his mother, the only creature to ever love him completely.

Inuyasha sat up in bed suddenly, thinking.

He wondered if he could still say that about his mother, that her love was the only love out there for him. Sesshoumaru, in his own strange way, was a source of affection—sick and twisted as that affection was sometimes. But could it truly be called love?

Inuyasha bit his lip, suddenly angry with himself. This was the same debate that had needled him all day long. What exactly did he feel for his brother? The hanyou understood that on many levels he hated his brother more than any other creature on the face of the planet: more than the villagers, more than the servants that had abused him, more than the purebloods that turned their noses up at him every single day no matter how hard he tried. He positively loathed his brother for more things than he could name. The scars on Inuyasha's back tingled with recollection of the horrors Sesshoumaru had put him through over the ten years they'd been together.

But…

Inuyasha's thoughts turned back to the events of earlier that day. In his mind he could see a perfect recollection of the portrait he'd drawn. That portrait had represented so much to him: the flaws he saw in himself and the greatness he saw in his brother. He'd meant what he'd thought at the time; the world was never meant for one as beautiful as Sesshoumaru. But if that fact gave the Taiyoukai the right to massacre all that was not perfect, the entire world would be laid waste.

And so Inuyasha's churning thoughts continued to simmer within him…

…until a knock came at the door.

Inuyasha blinked with surprise, convinced he'd heard wrong. No one ever came to visit him in the middle of the night.

He turned his finely-tuned hanyou senses to his door and was startled to sense a wealth of powerful youki centered there. He'd been so caught up in his musings, he'd missed the approach of a powerful demon. Not just any powerful demon, either, but one Inuyasha knew quite well. Inuyasha's blood ran cold. The last thing he needed was a visit from the very person who currently preoccupied the depths of his mind. What could Sesshoumaru possibly have to say to him?

The hanyou hesitated; for a moment, he entertained the idea of ignoring the knock and pretending to be asleep.

"Do not even think about it, mutt."

Inuyasha practically jumped out of his skin as a cool hand clamped on his chin, lifting his eyes to stare into pools of molten gold. Apparently, Sesshoumaru had grown tired of waiting at the door and had decided to let himself in. Inuyasha stiffened until his body took on the consistency of a wooden plank. His heart tossed around in his chest like a willow branch caught in a storm. He could feel his brother's hot breath on his chin as clearly as he could feel the fierce grip of his hand, the weight of his larger body as he hovered over where Inuyasha lay on the bed, barely touching.

Sesshoumaru cocked his head slowly to the side, his eyes never leaving those of his half-blood brother. "Were you going to ignore me all night, brother? Or did you honestly not expect this little midnight visit I'm paying you?"

Inuyasha had to bite his tongue to keep from admitting that he really hadn't expected anything of the sort. Sometimes, silence truly was golden.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed, but Inuyasha couldn't guess at the expression whirling in their depths. He swallowed once, twice, trying to force some saliva to coat his now painfully dry throat and tongue. Finally, he managed to groan—his voice cracking like a teenager's—"What do you want, Sesshoumaru?"

At this, Inuyasha would have sworn the slightest twitch of a smile passed over his brother's lips, but it was gone so quickly he couldn't be certain.

Slowly, achingly slowly, Sesshoumaru raised the hand that was not holding Inuyasha's chin in a grip of steel. Inuyasha strained his eyes to see the other hand, lacking the ability to move his head in that direction. Gradually, the hand came into focus, and when he saw what it was holding, his gold eyes widened in horror.

The portrait.

Sesshoumaru had the portrait.

He'd left it behind in the clearing, and Sesshoumaru had obviously found it. Inuyasha had assumed it would be blown away by the wind, destroyed by rain, something. The gods had not been feeling kind earlier that day, apparently. Sesshoumaru had the portrait.

"Perhaps," Sesshoumaru cooed, slowly and dangerously, "you would like to tell me exactly what it is that _you _want, little brother."

Inuyasha swallowed hard, feeling as though he was trying to get cotton to move down his esophagus. "I don't know what you mean."

Sesshoumaru studied him for a moment, letting his cold eyes trail over the pure shock and fear etched into Inuyasha's features. That flicker of a smile returned and disappeared again, bewildering the hanyou's senses. "Perhaps it's true. I can easily believe that you have no idea what this drawing of yours means. You have, after all, always been such a _simple_ creature."

Inuyasha bristled, but kept himself from replying. He could tell that was exactly what Sesshoumaru wanted: to get some sort of reaction out of him, preferably an angry one.

Sesshoumaru chuckled mirthlessly, his eyes drifting over to the portrait. "Yes, I believe you when you say you do not understand. This drawing of me is probably the most complex thing you've ever done in your life. I doubt you grasp the intent behind it, the emotion. It is amusing that you can create something so much more complex than yourself."

Inuyasha's temper flared hot, but he miraculously managed to rein it in. This was mostly thanks to a single spark of curiosity now flaring within him. What did Sesshoumaru know that Inuyasha didn't?

A low, unnerving sound echoed through the room; it took Inuyasha a moment to realize that his brother was laughing, low and sensuously in that lovely tenor of a voice. The hanyou's eyes widened to a comical size as he searched his memory for a single other time that he had heard such laughter. Sesshoumaru was known to chuckle cruelly at times, but Inuyasha could not recall one solitary instance of genuine laughter.

What an odd night this had turned out to be.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru whispered silkily when his unsettling laughter had finally melted away, "I forgive you for your misguided feelings. You are young and inexperienced. It is my job as your mentor to forgive you for such things."

Inuyasha's brow furrowed, and for the first time he let his temper slip. "What the hell are you talking about? If you're not going to explain it to me, then shut up and get out of my room! Don't you have better things to do?" He had never dared to use such a tone with his brother before, no matter how enraged he had been. For so many years, Inuyasha had been the victim in his brother's brutal schemes. Now he felt his annoyance overriding his instinct to cower before the more powerful demon still holding his chin. He was learning to be a predator instead of prey.

Sesshoumaru regarded him slowly, taking in the new hardness that appeared in his features. The pure-blood was obviously not alarmed by the menace in Inuyasha's face, but he did seem almost curious. He waved the portrait in his hand slightly, cocking his head to the side as he remarked in cool tones, "I do not believe that explaining your feelings to you will do you much good, but if that is your desire I will certainly comply." Inuyasha was chilled by the mock submissiveness in Sesshoumaru's voice, but the demon carried on before he could comment. "You, little brother, have developed feelings for me outside of what brothers traditionally feel for each other."

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, completely baffled. Sesshoumaru chuckled again, the sound quiet and rumbling. "This portrait represents your passion, mutt. It is everything about me that you find desirable. It is my beauty, my strength, my poise, my detachment, and the fact that you cannot possibly hope to obtain me no matter how strong you become. Your blood and the way half of it mixes with mine keeps us forever a river apart, and that fact torments you. It is the reason you laid tossing in bed moments before I appeared."

Sesshoumaru's grin was as sharp as shattered glass as he leaned closer. "I can see in your eyes that you still do not understand. Or perhaps you simply refuse to believe yourself capable of such a sin: developing physical passion for a member of your own bloodline." The laughter was back, and Inuyasha knew it would haunt his dreams for many a long year. "Perhaps I should prove my point to you?"

The world around Inuyasha froze in chilly clarity at Sesshoumaru's final question. The words hung in the air, heavy like a cloud of noxious fumes. He could feel the weight of the air in his lungs, feel the skipping of his heart like it would cease to beat at any moment. Understanding was beginning to drown him in its thickness. The truth of Sesshoumaru's words hit him full in the face: a more terrible blow than any the youkai had ever dealt him. He could stand having his body torn to shreds, but his brother's words were now threatening to tear apart his very sanity.

He loved his brother.

He loved his brother desperately.

He loved his cruelty; he loved his pride; he loved his beauty, so much like the unfolding of a spring sun on the frozen hills of the world's most remote lands. Untouched. Perfect. Impossible.

A fever caressed his skin and spread through him like wildfire. The hand his brother had on his chin now meant more to him than any other touch he'd ever experienced. His brother's body on top of him… Oh, the pure torture this simple caress put him through. And finally, the question Sesshoumaru had asked. The fierce intent in his eyes. The hatred.

Sesshoumaru hated Inuyasha every bit as much as Inuyasha loved Sesshoumaru.

And he proved it with a single, simple action.

He leaned forward, with the unbearable slowness of a serpent preparing to strike, and touched his lips to Inuyasha's.

The kiss was potent: a spark in darkness. It fizzled and popped into a roaring blaze that soaked Inuyasha's limbs with warmth. He felt a completeness that was purely wicked. He stomach churned with the sin he was committing: giving himself to his brother, body and soul. He belonged to Sesshoumaru from that moment forward, no matter how he hated his weakness.

That was all it was in the end. Weakness. Inuyasha was not strong enough to resist temptation. The Devil had whispered honeyed promises in his ear, and the hanyou had devoured every word of it. He could feel the ground crumbling beneath him, springing the trap he had willingly walked into to, yet there was not a single thing he could do to stop himself. Love had enfolded him in its embrace, and in so doing it had crushed the life out of him.

Inuyasha knew now what folly it was to love this creature. He'd given Sesshoumaru an explosion of new ways to hurt him. His love was the greatest tool of torture that could possibly be invented; Sesshoumaru would exhaust no end of resources in order to exploit this love to the very last drop. Inuyasha felt the last of his resolve crush under the weight of everything he now understood.

A shudder ran through his form, the physical embodiment of the suffering now filling him like icy poison. No tears could spring to his eyes, for none could be potent enough to express the anguish he felt. Adding to his woe was the tongue he now felt tracing his lips. Sesshoumaru was taking their kiss to a new level, enhancing the shame Inuyasha felt as his body responded eagerly to the touch. The fires kindling in him thrashed and roared, demanding to be fed after so many years of repression.

This was such exquisite torture.

Revulsion flooded his body with lead. These lips on his belonged to his _brother, _his own flesh and blood. This body rubbing erotically against his belonged to a being that he had admired for so many long years, a being he had yearned to emulate, a being he had wanted nothing more than to earn the approval of. But that approval was something that could never be earned. Even now, this display of passion from his brother carried no spark, no intensity. It was mechanical and designed for one thing: the crushing of Inuyasha's soul.

Sesshoumaru knew how much this meant to his little brother, and he intended to exploit that for his own amusement.

As if cued by Inuyasha's wretched thoughts, Sesshoumaru's cool lips slid from his and tickled little kisses up to his pointed ear, where the inu youkai's hot breath caressed the hanyou until he shivered. "Does it pain you to know this is the closest you will ever get to me?" Sesshoumaru purred, his voiced laced with cruelty more potent than hemlock. "Does it pain you to feel my touch and know it does not arouse me the way it arouses you? Does it pain you to hear the mockery in my voice, to know how much I despise you? I have never been proud of you. I have never cared for you. I think of you like a pet that occasionally performs a cute trick. Nothing more."

The pain exploded in Inuyasha's chest like claws ripping sinew. He let out a low, keening wail that hurt his sensitive ears. Sesshoumaru flinched at the noise—so full of tear-sweetened sorrow—and in that moment Inuyasha saw his chance to escape. His brother's attention wavered for only a second, but the hanyou lost no time in wriggling from the iron grip that held him fast. In a flash, he bounded out his bedroom door and sprinted down the corridor at speeds he had never before reached and never would reach again. Sesshoumaru could have caught him if he'd tried, but Inuyasha knew the Taiyoukai didn't expect him to go far.

There was so much about that night that Sesshoumaru did not expect.

Inuyasha would never return to that castle.

Sesshoumaru thought Inuyasha was too in love with him to stray far. He assumed the hanyou would be back within an hour, ready to accept the merciless new form of abuse that the pure-blood intended to subject him to.

His assumptions would cost Inuyasha fifty years of his life.

That very night, Inuyasha left the castle and stashed himself away from the world. Never again would he love another creature. He nursed his inner wounds in the deepest forests and caves he could find, venturing into villages only momentarily to steal the things he needed.

The thought of suicide never occurred to him for a reason that made him sick.

He was still desperately in love with his brother.

So long as he knew Sesshoumaru walked this world, he would walk it as well. He could continue to live and foster the thorn in his heart, because love drove him on. Love for a twisted, uncaring being: love that positively killed him even as it provided a will to live.

Inuyasha's life became a vicious cycle of heartbreak.

But then came the true heartbreak. Inuyasha fled from his brother exactly fifty years from the present date, and when he fled he heard tales of a magic relic know as the Shikon Jewel. This jewel became his obsession. Why? Because it gave him a bridge to Sesshoumaru.

The deluded, half-starved wraith of a creature that Inuyasha had become after running from his brother understood that the jewel could make him a full demon.

Somewhere in the heartbroken dementia of Inuyasha's mind, he thought that Sesshoumaru would love him if only he could become a full demon. He wanted to cross the "river" that Sesshoumaru had spoken of, the one separating pure demon blood from filthy hanyou.

And so he chased the jewel. And so he allowed another being to get close to his heart. And so his heart was crushed again, by both failure and the arrow that bound him to a tree.

For fifty years exactly.

Inuyasha awoke from his sleep and became the half-demon walking the earth today, the friend of Kagome, Miroku, Shippo, Sango, and Kirara.

He began to live again, but never did his quest for the Shikon jewel cease.

And how his heart was shattered when he first saw his brother again, unchanged by the years that had passed. How it had cleaved at him to chop off Sesshoumaru's hand. How twisted it had felt to fight him, to have their bodies touch as they had that one fateful night.

This was the story he could not tell to Miroku, could not tell to Kaede. Could not tell to anyone. This was what he had longed to forget. This was what haunted his dreams at night and drove him into the dawn of every waking day.

This was his purpose.

This was what he sped toward after leaving Kaede's hut. It was time to confront his brother with the story of his past. Never had he spoken a word to Sesshoumaru about his life before Kikyou had trapped him.

He wasn't seeking vengeance. He wasn't seeking answers.

He was simply seeking an end to it all.

To be continued….

_It's not over yet, y'all, so hold on tight ._


	9. Chapter 9

_I'm going to be completely honest with you guys… I have no idea how I'm going to end this fic. There's one way that I want to end it that best fits the story, but I've already done a few endings like that, and I don't know that I want to write another one. Plus, I know the kind of ending that my readers will want, but that sort really just doesn't fit in with my idea for this chapter… For the first time ever, your loyal HieiAijin1410 is at a loss. I can't even tell you how many more chapters there will be, though certainly not many more. Well, let's just see how it goes. _

_Disclaimer: Can you fathom how high the rating would be on Inuyasha if I owned it? Triple X is nothing, I'm talking quadruple. _

**Present Day**

Inuyasha moved like a wandering wraith through the midnight-drenched forest: purposeless, listless, and lost. He'd had so much fire in him when he'd first left Kaede's hut, determined to make tonight the end of it all. Gradually, the cool night had doused the flames of his passion and he slowed, a sense of calm filling him that did not ordinarily mix well with his temperamental nature. "Futile" was the word. He'd been trying to think of a proper way to describe his search for Sesshoumaru. Futile seemed like more than adequate phrasing. Inuyasha knew damn well that if his older brother did not wish to be found, he would not be, and if he did, he would simply come to Inuyasha.

So what was he to do in the meantime?

Inuyasha released the air in his lungs in a long, tense whistle, feeling it drain from him slowly like blood from an open wound. His stomach throbbed dully with anxiety. He wanted this to happen but he feared it simultaneously. What would he do when he saw his brother again? A part of him felt confident that he could handle himself, that he could put his brother in his place as he had always resolved to do. Another part felt weak. A nagging corner of his mind feared that Inuyasha would simply fall to his knees and allow his brother's flawless strength to devour him. He feared even more that he would willingly do so, maybe even enjoy it. There was something comforting about being in the grasp of a creature far greater than yourself. A moth that flies willingly into the flame's snapping jaws.

That was what Inuyasha feared most of all.

If his brother chose, he could swallow the half-demon whole and never free him; Inuyasha would revel in it. His blood ran like fire in his veins when he thought of the things his brother could do to him. The slightest touch fifty years ago had been enough to torment him to near madness. What would happen to the remainder of Inuyasha's soul if he succumbed to the cancerous love he felt for his brother?

The problem was he knew his brother didn't share his passion. Sesshoumaru was an immovable block of ice. The touch they'd shared fifty years ago had been Sesshoumaru's way of taunting him. His brother had probably spent hours scouring his flesh clean after the encounter. He'd wanted to torment his younger brother, and he'd found an ideal way to do so without jeopardizing himself. Sesshoumaru would never fall so low as to fulfill Inuyasha's fondest wish: the wish for intimacy with the creature who had haunted his dreams every night for decades. What was he to do with himself?

There were no answers waiting in the shadows of the forest.

Inuyasha found a silvery tree and sank to his knees at its roots. He could wander no longer, or the tension would surely drive him mad. He could feel in his marrow that his brother would come to him eventually.

There was nothing to do in the meantime but wait. Soon, he would discover the true limits of his strength.

…

Sesshoumaru inhaled deeply, filling his nostrils with a scent he had grown accustomed to over the long years. When he'd first smelled this scent, it had turned his stomach. It was rancid to him: the smell of impure blood. He'd had to quell his desire to kill the polluted creature from which it came every time the odor touched him. It had been many long years since he'd gotten over the compulsion to wash his clothing every time the dirty one touched it. Now, he could almost claim he liked the smell of half-breed. It had a touch of wildness to it. It was passionate, like the passion that drove a demon and human to mate and create it in the first place. Sesshoumaru was not known for being a particularly excitable creature, but even he found it intoxicating to walk in the realms of the socially unacceptable. He wouldn't have taken the brat into his home so many years ago if he didn't.

The odd thing was, in the past his passion could only be stirred by stateliness and superiority, the kind shown by the blank-faced women who filled his courts and seduced him with their false airs of virginity and cleanliness. Now, he found himself riled by the thought of rolling in the dirt with the common dogs his ancestors had been.

Inuyasha didn't understand how wrong he was. Sesshoumaru's desire was now reserved exclusively for the hanyou.

That night so long ago, when he'd held Inuyasha still—mastered him with a single touch—and engaged in actions forbidden by every kind of society… it had burned his soul unlike anything else he'd ever experienced. Nothing else had made him feel that way since. He was furious with his brother for escaping him, and that fury drove his desire deeper. He couldn't decide what he wanted more: to crush his brother's beating heart in his hand or to throw him to the ground and own every inch of his flesh like it had never been owned before.

The very thought of it drove a spike into his placid heartbeat. Sesshoumaru would almost swear he was salivating.

He shook his head slowly to clear the images now flooding his brain. Accustomed as he had grown to the filthy way Inuyasha made him think, he was still a refined being. It almost shamed him to think of how his desire for his half-brother controlled his thoughts…

But it just felt so good to be warm inside.

He'd played the distant aristocrat for long enough; now it was time to make his intentions toward Inuyasha known.

It hadn't started out this way at all. If someone had told Sesshoumaru years ago that pulling a sooty mixed-breed out of the woods would lead him to his current plan, he would have laughed as he plunged his hand into their ribs. Even when Inuyasha was grown and learning the ways of inu youkai, Sesshoumaru had only seen him as an amusement. Inuyasha tried so hard yet never really accomplished anything. It was entertaining to see that determined gleam in his eyes never flicker before the face of so much defeat.

Somewhere in the mix of watching the hanyou develop, Sesshoumaru had forgotten to guard himself appropriately. He'd begun to notice little things: how the gold of Inuyasha's eyes perfectly matched his own, how the scars marring Inuyasha's flesh were so purely white and clean—an odd sense of imperfect perfection—and how his hair glinted in the sunlight like diamonds tangled in ripped silk. It hadn't taken long for him to wonder how those rose-petal lips tasted when they were screaming.

The final crack in Sesshoumaru's resolve came the day he found Inuyasha's portrait. He'd already suspected that his younger brother had developed an attraction for him, but he'd passed it off as adolescent confusion mixed with adoration for a clearly superior being. Then, that crumpled piece of paper had clarified it all. His brother wasn't lusting after his beauty or enamored with the security he provided… Inuyasha desired the control Sesshoumaru held over him. He loved Sesshoumaru's power, his fearlessness, and the knowledge that Inuyasha could lose himself forever in a being such as this.

Inuyasha _loved _him.

That was what spurred Sesshoumaru on more than anything. His little brother was the first creature in all his long years of life that he truly believed was in love with him. Many had spoken the words to him without a single ring of sincerity in their voices. Inuyasha had not needed to speak to prove how genuine his love was. Sesshoumaru had felt it in the way the half-breed's body shook beneath him.

That love was the perfect tool of Inuyasha's destruction. Sesshoumaru had every intention of using it, too. Nothing would please him more.

The scent in Sesshoumaru's nose grew strong. He knew he was close. His little brother was probably within a hundred feet of him and did not appear to be moving.

"The mutt gave up on looking for me." Sesshoumaru's lips twitched into a phantom smile as he spoke to the dark forest around him. "How sensible. It seems I don't give him enough credit."

Sesshoumaru made no effort to conceal himself as he strode forward. Inuyasha was expecting him. He would not deign to mask his presence like a common thief, though he had every intention of stealing plenty tonight. Perhaps stealing wasn't the proper term. Sesshoumaru knew quite well Inuyasha would give him anything he wanted, and all he had to do was ask.

With a faint smile still gracing his lips, Sesshoumaru broke through a ring of trees and into a small meadow bathed in midnight blue light. His sharp eyesight cut effortlessly through the dark and settled on a nearby tree. A puddle of silver moonlight, crimson blood, and specks of glimmering gold kneeled at the base of this tree, quickly transforming into the shape of his half-brother as Inuyasha rose slowly to his feet. The hanyou did not look alarmed by Sesshoumaru's sudden appearance, confirming that he did in fact know his brother was coming.

Sesshoumaru erased any trace of emotion from his face and slid closer, gliding effortlessly towards the cause of the fever suddenly spiking through him. Gods, he'd never seen something look so disgustingly beautiful.

Dirt smeared his brother's white face and the bumps of little scratches could be seen quickly healing on his skin. A twig stuck out from his silver mane at an odd angle, and the red hatori he wore bore many rough patches from travel. Beneath this sloppy exterior, however, Sesshoumaru could see the beautiful lines of his brother's muscles, the porcelain quality of his skin, the fire of defiance in his eyes that never fully flickered out, not even now. No beast in the world could look so elegant, and no cultured aristocrat could be so untamed. Inuyasha truly belonged to a breed of his own.

The Taiyoukai's eyes swept slowly over the creature before him, drinking in the sight. He took another step forward… and then another, watching as each hard muscle buried beneath his brother's flesh tensed with every step. Indecision was plain in Inuyasha's eyes. The hanyou had not yet decided if he wanted to try and defy Sesshoumaru or simply succumb to his will as they both knew he eventually would. Inuyasha was as affected by the sight of Sesshoumaru as the Taiyoukai was in return. His pale cheeks flushed slightly, his eyes roved along the elegant lines of Sesshoumaru's body, and his heart began to beat so loudly it was easy for Sesshoumaru's ears to pick up the sound.

Sesshoumaru knew… all he had to do was reach out and take what he wanted.

But that would be too simple. Even a being as sophisticated as himself occasionally liked to play with his food.

"Inuyasha…my little brother." Sesshoumaru licked his lips slowly, allowing his voice to drop to a velvet murmur. The hanyou flinched at the word "brother", clearly disturbed by the way that word clashed with the desire he felt for the creature it described. Sesshoumaru laughed softly, the sound like the tinkling of water on metal. "No need to mar your lovely face with such unpleasant expressions. You cannot pretend you're unhappy to see me so long as your heart beats so wildly."

Inuyasha clutched a hand to his chest as if he wished to muffle the noise resonating from it. A flicker of anger danced in his eyes; obviously, he was upset at how easily Sesshoumaru could read him.

"I raised you, little one," Sesshoumaru chuckled, moving even closer. "Of course I know what you're thinking. This Sesshoumaru has always been able to read the glimmer in your eyes." He was close enough now to reach out and touch the hanyou, but he refrained. The tension between them was taut and heated, and he planned to let it simmer for a bit before stirring the embers.

"Of course," his supple voice dropped to a whisper, "you have on occasion managed to surprise me." Golden eyes locked onto golden eyes; neither could have broken the gaze if they'd wanted. "I was so displeased when you left me, brother. I hated to explain to my court that you had gone, roving the wilderness like a mad beast. You threw away all the years I spent turning you into a civilized demon."

"No such thing exists," Inuyasha growled, clenching his fingers. Sesshoumaru raised a brow in amusement, silently forgiving his brother for interrupting him.

Inuyasha inhaled sharply. "I left because I had to; you know that quite well for all your feigned innocence. I'm not going to pretend that we have a normal relationship for the sake of your pleasantries. We've tried to kill each other too many times for that bullshit."

Sesshoumaru frowned slightly at Inuyasha's vulgarity. He would have to teach the mutt to curb his tongue. Such ugliness did not sound proper coming from those soft lips.

Inuyasha continued as if oblivious to the Taiyoukai's disapproval. "I refuse to dance around my reason for being here, no matter how long you want to stand there and spout poetry. I plan to end this twisted relationship tonight, Sesshoumaru, no matter what I have to do. Try to kill me if you can. I know that's what you plan to do. But I swear on my mother's grave, I'll do everything I can to kill you first!" Inuaysha was amazed at the resolve in his tone. He was sure his uncertainty would be betrayed by his voice, but all he heard when he spoke was confidence and strength. The gods must be smiling on his tonight.

Sesshoumaru's lips twitched into the form of a smirk. "Oh, little brother, you always amaze me with the way you misinterpret everything. Can even you not see the flush in my cheeks and the hunger in my eyes? I'm not going to kill you, at least not in a physical sense. Instead of ending our relationship, I plan to deepen it. I'm going to give you exactly what we both know your heart secretly desires, in a place so dark you can't even bring yourself to acknowledge it aloud."

Sesshoumaru's smile turned sharp like glass, and the look in his eyes was smoldering. "I'm going to take what I want from you, and you will beg for it to never end."

Inuyasha's mouth dropped open in surprise. How had he not noticed the way Sesshoumaru was looking at him? Somehow, he had failed to notice the sensual way his brother stood. He'd been expecting Sesshoumaru to fight him, to punish him, to try to force him back to the castle and make a slave out of him.

But this… this he had not foreseen. His brother _desired _him.

Before Inuyasha could recover from his shock, Sesshoumaru made his first move.

Inuyasha felt a familiar hand clamp down on his chin and force him back. Fast as they were moving, Inuyasha was able to count the fifteen steps it took for Sesshoumaru to force his younger brother into the trunk of a tree. The hanyou growled furiously as this position brought a flood of memories into the forefront of his mind. It was as if he'd never escaped at all. Sesshoumaru still help him firmly in his grasp.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Inuyasha snapped, thrashing as hard as he could. Sesshoumaru's hold was like steel, and the Taiyoukai moved quickly to lock Inuyasha's legs and torso with his own. They now stood with their faces mere inches from each other, and Inuyasha had to force himself not to turn away from the smoldering look in his brother's eyes. He could practically taste the desire pulsing between their bodies, the sin of the passion now radiating from his own flesh and blood. The worst temptations were always the loveliest.

"You are not one to call me a bastard, dear brother," Sesshoumaru purred, his voice velvety and measured. He spoke like one who had all the time in the word to convey his meaning, and truthfully, he did. He spoke as if to a lover, not to a captive, and Inuyasha was mesmerized by the sound. "Do not think you will ever escape me again. It's been a long few decades without you, my little one, and you will not subject me to that again."

Sesshoumaru leaned forward with the hypnotic slowness of a cobra preparing to strike. With a start, Inuyasha realized that he'd been biting his lip nervously and had actually drawn blood. Sesshoumaru's lips parted as they drew close to Inuyasha's, and a soft pink tongue darted forward to lick the beaded blood from Inuyasha's lip.

The effect was explosive. A cry poured from Inuyasha, filled with need and despair. Electric currents ran from the point where Sesshoumaru's flesh met his to the entire length of his body in a fraction of a second. He realized now just how hollow his life had been before. It was as if this one simple touch was all he needed to mend the cracks in his shattered heart.

But even as old cracks knitted themselves together… new ones were forming.

He knew the lie that lived beneath the gentle way Sesshoumaru licked his lip, purring like a kitten before a saucer of milk.

This love would be the death of him. Inuyasha knew it as surely as he knew his own name.

And he would love his brother more with every passing second.

His tense muscles relaxed one by one, allowing Sesshoumaru's strong hold to keep his body upright. The body melded co perfectly with his was the only force that kept him from sliding helplessly to the ground. Inuyasha had already given up.

"Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha whispered. That was all he had to say.

A smirk danced across the Taiyoukai's lips, even as he never ceased to lick the blood from his brother's wound. "You are mine, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha did not bother denying it.

To be continued…


	10. Chapter 10

_Well, damn, y'all, I didn't think I took THAT long to update, but the number of reviews I got for the last chapter suggests otherwise. I haven't gotten that small of a response since I first joined this site. You make your poor HieiAijin1410 want to cry ;;. To make it up to you guys, I dedicated myself to getting this chapter out as quickly as I could. NOW COME BACK TO ME, MY LOVELY READERS! COME BACK! _

_Or else._

_**Next chapter is the last! And I had better get some feedback, or it might take me years to write the ending. BWA HA HA! o.O  
**_

_Disclaimer: I own it not; sadly, this is true._

**Present Day**

There was nothing Sesshoumaru could do to keep the triumphant smirk from his lips. He had the object of his every waking fantasy for the past several decades pressed tightly to his body, helpless and shivering from the effect Sesshoumaru had on him. The sweet taste of hanyou blood rolled smoothly across the Taiyoukai's tongue as he licked his brother's lip clean. How he reveled in this victory. He could feel his brother's defenses melting slowly away, as if they were actually tangible. He'd meant it when he'd said Inuyasha was his. Tonight, he would ensure that his petulant little brother never dared to leave him again. No matter what he had to do.

Slowly, Sesshoumaru pulled away, making certain to keep Inuyasha's body locked tightly against the tree so the foolish hanyou could not possibly entertain the idea of escaping. Inuyasha's golden eyes were glazed, and his chest heaved frantically as if he couldn't get enough air no matter how hard he tried. Sesshoumaru's smirk widened. He'd barely touched the other man, and already he looked like a walking wet dream.

Sesshoumaru could imagine what Inuyasha would look like when he got through with him. The idea made him salivate.

Sesshoumaru studied the younger demon for a moment, giving Inuyasha a chance to collect himself. The Taiyoukai—much as he loved the incoherence he was able to inspire with such a simple touch—would enjoy this more if it went slowly. Painfully slowly. He let his golden eyes slide along the sculpted lines of his younger sibling's body, drinking in the sight. Every inch of creamy skin deserved attention, and Sesshoumaru planned to give it exactly that. The night was young and brimming with opportunities.

With a gasp, Inuyasha finally managed to catch his breath. Gods, what had come over him all of a sudden? He shook his head to clear it and tried to calm the pounding of his heart. He could feel Sesshoumaru's gaze on him like a ray of afternoon sunlight, focused and burning. The hanyou was too overwhelmed to even raise his eyes. What would happen to him if he looked again into those molten pools, knowing the effect his older sibling had on him? Pandora's box has been placed before him. He wanted desperately to know what lay inside, though he understood the dangers quite well. How could he resist the temptation?

"Inuyasha," a silky voice whispered. Inuyasha shivered involuntarily. His name had never been spoken so beautifully before in his life; he was sure of it. "Inuyasha, why won't you look at me?" The hanyou's lips parted as if to speak, but no words came out. This was too much. It was all too much. Why had he ever left Kaede's hut? He could have stayed safely with his friends. But no, his stubborn pride had made him think he was a much stronger man then he was.

And now he had no way of escaping from this lion's den.

"Inuyasha," the angelic voice of his brother sang softly, "I want you to look at me. You have no reason to be afraid."

_Says the Devil Incarnate, _Inuyasha thought, somehow failing to muster any venom into his inner voice. He could feel his eyes sliding upward automatically, compelled by the commanding air Sesshoumaru created naturally. He growled softly, willing himself to get some semblance of control over his raging emotions, and then he looked up.

His breath stilled in his throat as his eyes met his brother's. He'd never seen such an exquisitely raging look in those glittering suns before. The moonlight playing across Sesshoumaru's winter skin made it look ceramic: flawless and unmovable. A single strand of his older brother's silver hair blew gently in the cool night air and brushed Inuyasha's cheek, making his flesh tingle.

"I'm not afraid of you, Sesshoumaru," the hanyou said in an amazingly calm voice. And it was true. He feared what Sesshoumaru could do to him, not Sesshoumaru himself. Inuyasha felt a sudden burst of defiance in his heart, and before he could think through the decision, he placed his hands on his sibling's chest and shoved as hard as he could.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself to be pushed back, landing gracefully a few feet from his brother. Inuyasha's lovely face looked stunned, as if he could not believe his own daring. Sesshoumaru merely looked amused.

"Do you feel as if you are in control, little one?" The inu youkai's voice was mirthful and taunting. "If you really want to fight with me, I will not deny you the pleasure. We both know the pleasure will be mine in the end regardless."

Inuyasha felt his skin prickle at his brother's words. The hunger in Sesshoumaru's eyes was plain and bestial. The hanyou felt his defiance waver just from looking at the beautiful creature before him. How could he hope to resist such a thing, especially when all he'd ever wanted was to give in?

_I want my brother's love, not his control, _Inuyasha reminded himself. _But…I just don't think I have the strength…_

Before he could finish the thought, Sesshoumaru was before him again. Inuyasha had barely enough time to get his hands up in a defensive gesture before the attack was on. His face exploded with pain as Sesshoumaru's fist slammed into him. Inuyasha's head went flying back into the tree he'd been pressed tenderly against just moments before. He heard the crack of his skull hitting the trunk but felt no more pain as black stars danced in front of his eyes.

"You wanted a fight, and so you shall get it." Sesshoumaru's voice danced in the air. "Defy me all you please, my brother. It will accomplish nothing." Inuyasha raised his head just in time to see another blow headed his way. He dodged quickly to his right, but his vision was spinning too badly to properly guide his movements. He stumbled halfway through a step, and Sesshoumaru was on him in an instant. The air rushed from Inuyasha's lungs as Sesshoumaru threw him savagely to the ground. The stars were back in larger numbers, blacking out the half-breed's vision. A blur of white stepped over him, and Inuyasha knew it was his brother's face looking down at him.

"I do so hate to see you lying in the dirt, my love." The pity in Sesshoumaru's voice was sickeningly sweet. "I wanted to give you dignity. I wanted to give you a seat by my side in my castle, where the last of our father's bloodline belongs. Do you not wish to take your proper place amongst our people? If you continue to defy me like this, I will not be able to help you. Will you let me give you these things, beloved?"

Inuyasha could hear the lie behind these beautiful words. They were everything he'd ever wanted Sesshoumaru to say to him, and Sesshoumaru knew it. The half-breed wanted desperately to agree. How could he allow himself to believe such a blatant mistruth? Sesshoumaru would never think of him as equal. Even now, all he ever did was look down at him. Sesshoumaru was a perfect blend of honey and venom. Poison had never tasted so sweet to Inuyasha's tongue.

Gradually, the hanyou's vision cleared and he was able to see the vicious smile on Sesshoumaru's lips. Those perfect, pale lips. Pure as starlight and just as untouchable. That smile filled Inuyasha with anger, and he climbed shakily to his feet. Sesshoumaru watched him without concern, clearly convinced that Inuyasha had given up the fight. The hanyou felt a hint of his old temper flare up inside his chest. _How dare that bastard smirk at me! I'll teach him who he's fucking with!_

Without warning, Inuyasha launched himself at his brother, determined to return the blows he'd been given. He lashed out wildly, growling like a mad beast. His older brother danced around him, narrowly avoiding the unpredictable blows.

"You should not let your temper get the best of you, pet," Sesshoumaru scolded mockingly. "It will only hurt you more in the end." He grabbed Inuyasha's wrists and held them tight to his chest, a gesture that would have been tender had it come from anyone else.

"I am not your pet," Inuyasha growled viciously. He wasted no time digging his claws into Sesshoumaru's chest, shredding the beautiful kimono he wore until his fingers felt warm blood. Crimson flowers bloomed rapidly around Inuyasha's talons, but the Taiyoukai paid them no mind. He closed the distance between himself and his brother, leaning his head forward to brush their cheeks sweetly together. "Every time you hurt me, I see the pain in your eyes. You do not desire this fight, yet you continue it because you are prideful. Give in, and let me love you as only a brother can."

Inuyasha was so shocked by the gentleness with which Sesshoumaru touched him that he momentarily forgot what he was doing. His claws loosened and pulled out of the pureblood's chest, and his muscles relaxed. Sesshoumaru wasted not a second of his brother's shock and quickly moved his head to Inuyasha's lips. He kissed him, smoothly and slowly, golden eyes staring into golden eyes. Inuyasha's heartbeat tripled. This was the kiss that had driven him to madness so many decades ago. This kiss had gotten him trapped in a priestess's spell and changed the course of history.

This kiss would burn his soul to ash.

Inuyasha's knees gave out beneath him, and he felt Sesshoumaru wrap an arm quickly around his waist to hold him up. The Taiyoukai pulled their bodies close, fitting them together like jigsaw puzzle pieces. His tongue probed gently at Inuyasha's bottom lip, and the hanyou did not even consider denying him entrance. His lips parted and were filled with the spicy taste of the older man, a strangely masculine taste for such a beautiful creature.

Sesshoumaru growled with pure ecstasy as he felt all of Inuyasha's reservations dissolving away. He had the hanyou now. His defenses were gone, and nothing stood in the way of what the Demon Lord wanted. He would sate his lust for the half-breed and then drag him back to the Western Lands where he belonged. Inuyasha would live the rest of his days as a porcelain doll, ready to show off at banquets or to play with whenever Sesshoumaru chose. And if he ever tried to escape again from his rightful place at Sesshoumaru's feet, the inu youkai would simply kill him.

This was the way things were meant to be, and any other alternative was unacceptable.

Sesshoumaru kissed his little brother deeply, enjoying the wild taste and scent of the half-breed as it filled his senses. Every passing second brought a fresh wave of desire rolling over him. Soon, he was growling with need, but he wouldn't take Inuyasha just yet. The hanyou was weak and overwhelmed; Sesshoumaru wanted him to feel every touch burning through him like hot embers. He would settle for nothing less.

"Kiss me, Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru breathed against his soon-to-be-lover's skin. It was one thing for Inuyasha to allow himself to be kissed and another for him to actively participate. Sesshoumaru wanted to strip Inuyasha of any denial, any opportunity to pretend he didn't want Sesshoumaru every bit as much as Sesshoumaru wanted him. He would make the hanyou scream his name before the end. "Kiss me."

Inuyasha's eyes cracked open, and Sesshoumaru was pleased to see them sparking with desire. The hanyou's lips parted further, making room for a pink tongue to dart out and trace the lovely shape of Sesshoumaru's lips. The Taiyoukai sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the tentative sensation. It was almost virginal and deeply intoxicating. It made him want to throw the other man to the ground and remove any possibly trace of virginity from him. But for now, he would be patient.

Sesshoumaru's hands moved to the ties holding Inuyasha's clothing together. With nimble fingers, he slipped the folds of fabric away, pleased that Inuyasha did not try to resist him. The half-demon was too busy kissing his older brother to notice. Sesshoumaru growled with pleasure when he felt the younger demon suck his tongue into his mouth and brush it with his fangs, a delightful sensation of pain and pleasure.

With gentle haste, Sesshoumaru lowered Inuyasha to the ground, kneeling beside him as he moved. Their mouths broke away, and Sesshoumaru spent a quiet moment enjoying the beauty before him. Inuyasha's hair fanned out on the ground like a blanket of snow, glittering and pristine. His eyes were half-lidded, and his lips were flushed with the color of a bloody sunset. His naked body practically glowed in the moonlight, inviting delicate kisses and bites. The passion in his eyes suggested that Sesshoumaru must look every bit as beautifully messy.

The Taiyoukai was pleasantly surprised when Inuyasha's hands moved quickly to his armor and blood-stained kimono, practically throwing the obstacles aside. Sesshoumaru moved to straddle Inuyasha's hips, pushing his legs between the hanyou's and forcing them to spread apart. Inuyasha gasped slightly at the vulnerable position this left him in but did not protest.

Sesshoumaru leaned forward, his silver hair falling around their faces like a glimmering curtain. The look on his face was utterly unreadable. "Inuyasha," he whispered softly, his hands gliding gently along his brother's chest. He smiled when the sound of his name caused the hanyou to shiver. Sesshoumaru dipped a hand quickly down and grasped the hardness between his brother's legs, smirking as Inuyasha cried out with surprised pleasure.

"I do so love to hear you sing," Sesshoumaru cooed softly, leaning down to kiss Inuyasha's neck as his hand slowly caressed his length. The hanyou shuddered in response, his back arching to try and force more friction out of the light touch. It was maddening, the way the older demon teased him. It set his skin ablaze and his heart pounding. Sesshoumaru's lips trailed down his chest, his fangs nibbling here and there. He still swore that Inuyasha had the most wonderful taste. He was eager to see what other wonders he could squeeze out of the hanyou.

The hand that caressed his brother's arousal dipped down lower, lightly fingering his puckered entrance. Inuyasha squirmed at the tickling touch, but Sesshoumaru paid him no mind. He was envisioning the way Inuyasha's face would twist into ecstasy when he entered him here. He could hear the moans. He could practically feel how tight and warm it would be…

Sesshoumaru growled under his breath as arousal overtook him. Without warning, he plunged a finger inside Inuyasha and closed his eyes to the sound of the hanyou crying out in pain. Inuyasha's voice was even sweeter than he'd imagined. Mercilessly, Sesshoumaru worked at his brother's entrance, forcing the half-demon to move with his fingers to keep the discomfort to a minimum. Sesshoumaru was delighted that the other demon wasn't telling him to stop. Inuyasha was ready for this, and Sesshoumaru didn't think he could have waited another minute.

Sesshoumaru leaned down and stilled the cries of his brother with his lips, massaging them softly together. While his brother was distracted by the kiss, he aligned their bodies so his aching hardness was pressed to his brother's entrance. He paused there for a moment, staring down at the quivering creature beneath him. He was going to enjoy this so.

Sesshoumaru pushed in quickly, not bothering to wait for Inuyasha to adjust to the hard length now invading his body. The Taiyoukai clenched his jaw to keep from moaning like a whore. Gods, his little brother felt even better than he'd fantasized. He sank down as far as he could and paused there for a moment, his golden eyes clouding over with ferocious desire. It didn't help that Inuyasha had taken to whispering his name in little broken pants, shuddering beneath him like a broken wind-up toy in the most exquisite way.

Sesshoumaru couldn't take it any more.

He set the pace hard and fast, burying himself deeper in his brother with every thrust. It had taken so long to get to this moment that neither of the two demons had the patience to make it last. Dog demons were generally known for having inexhaustible stamina, for being able to make sex last for long, sweaty hours and even days. This was not going to be one of those moments. Inuyasha was bucking his hips so perfectly in time with Sesshoumaru's thrusts that they both knew it wouldn't be much longer now.

Sesshoumaru leaned down and sank his fangs into his brother's shoulder, reveling in the pain-laced moan that reverberated through Inuyasha's entire chest. The smell of blood in the air spurred both demons on, drawing out the raging beast that each carried below their civilized exteriors. The pleasure coiled tighter and tighter in their bodies, merging into one fantastic harmony that could only come from the joining of two bodies together.

Sesshoumaru released his brother's shoulder and tossed his head back, sending a wave of silver hair cascading around them as he opened his eyes and studied his brother through the haze of their passion. Inuyasha's lips were parted and oozing panted moans with every breath. His eyes were closed and his head was thrown back as if his brain could not stand to be so close to the source of his pleasure. A fine sheen of sweat covered his ivory skin, making him glisten like fresh snow. But what Sesshoumaru saw most when he watched his brother squirming beneath him was submission.

He laughed slowly, coldly, just loud enough for Inuyasha to hear and crack an eye open in question.

"Ah, Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru purred, not slowing his thrusts for a second, "look at what a beautiful slut I've turned you into." Inuyasha's face darkened with anger, and he looked as if he was about to say something, but before he could, Sesshoumaru slammed their hips together and forced himself so deeply into Inuyasha that all the younger man could do was moan delightedly. Sesshoumaru kept up this harsh rhythm until Inuyasha thought he would surely go mad with the delicious friction it created within him.

"See, little one?" Sesshoumaru taunted, growling the words out as pleasure almost drowned his reason. "All it takes to silence your protests is a good fuck. Look at how easily I can own you: body and mind. I should have known the path to a half-demon's heart lay between his legs. When I take you back to our castle, I'll make you submit to me like this every day, every night, anytime I decide I want you." He leaned down until his mouth was at Inuyasha's ear. "And you will beg me to do it."

With those final words, Sesshoumaru called upon his demonic strength and speed to pound into his brother with renewed passion. The two moved together in a frenzy, just moments from climax. Sesshoumaru had never felt this good in his life. He looked forward to doing this many, many more times in the future, when Inuyasha took his rightful place as his pet.

Little did he know the gravity of his miscalculations.

Inuyasha had not for one moment stopped participating in their sinful union. His body was there, moving with his brother's thrusts as if that was all it had been designed for. His mind, however, was still reeling from the shock of Sesshoumaru's words. He'd known it all along, of course, but nothing could ease the pain of hearing it actually spoken. He was a toy to Sesshoumaru. He was a plaything that pleased him at the moment but could be easily discarded should the Taiyoukai grow bored of him. There was no love here; there was no equality. There was only master and servant.

Inuyasha felt a coldness flooding him that he could only compare to what death must feel like when it hits you all at once. It formed an odd paradox with his body. His orgasm was so close he could taste it on his own salty lips, but his chest was ripping apart. He knew that Sesshoumaru would never let him walk away from this. The Taiyoukai would kill him the second he tried to leave. Inuyasha could never return to his friends, could never have any life other than the one Sesshoumaru had designated for him, so long as the pureblood lived.

Inuyasha could not live that life. It was turn his soul black to live life on his knees, even for the one he loved with every breath. So what could he do? How could he possibly escape this horrible fate that awaited him?

An idea popped into Inuyasha's mind. It was so ludicrous, this simple thought that made his chest feel even colder. How could he… how could he feasibly do such a thing? It would tear him apart to do it, to even think it.

But what other choice was there? Inuyasha had the option of forsaking his life now, or trying to reclaim it. But at what price? What parts of himself was he willing to destroy for his freedom?

At that moment, Inuyasha felt a tingling in his body where it joined with his older brother's. His climax had come and was quickly washing over him like a flood of molten heat. It stole his breath away, this intense pleasure that reached to the very tips of his fingers. Sesshoumaru was looking down at him, looking like an angel bathed in sparkling moonlight. Their eyes locked, and in them they could both see the threat of their looming orgasm.

Silently, the brothers forced their hips together in one hard motion and tensed as the gates broke loose on their climax. Together, they dissolved into ecstasy, voices joined in a cry that sliced through the air around them. Tormented as his body was with such ferocious pleasure, Inuyasha's head was clear. He knew what he had to do.

Slowly , but without hesitation, he raised one hand and placed it on his brother's chest. Sesshoumaru's eyes had closed as he rode through the waves of his orgasm. He was completely caught in the tide of it, unaware of anything but the feeling in his body. Inuyasha's lips curled up into a mirthless smile. His older brother's desire for a half-breed would be his downfall. His contempt for all but the pure of blood had made him vulnerable. He had never once expected Inuyasha to be capable of something like this.

"Oh, my brother," Inuyasha whispered, so softly even he could barely hear it, "you always were the first to underestimate me."

With that, Inuyasha thrust his claws into his brother's chest, digging all the way down until he felt broken rib and beating heart. He squeezed as hard as he could, seeking to end the life that wanted to take his own.

Sesshoumaru's eyes burst open, a look of shock twisting his usually emotionless face. He looked down at his chest and saw the limb protruding from it that was not his own. He followed the length of the arm to the body it was attached to and then finally the face. Inuyasha was looking at him with such serene eyes, just a trace of a smile on his lips. How had Sesshoumaru not seen this coming? He'd trusted too much in the helpless love the hanyou felt for him. He'd trusted too much in his own beauty and power to convince Inuyasha to give his life to him. He'd made many mistakes along the way, and now he was paying for it as he felt his life slowly ebbing away.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru whispered. The hanyou did not flinch as his name was spoken. Their bodies had stilled, still tingling with the after effects of their mutual orgasm.

Inuyasha watched as his brother's lips curled into a smile that must have mirrored his own. The hanyou felt cold inside. He'd just destroyed the only thing in the world that he truly loved. He could feel the beating of his brother's heart slowing. Blood flowed over his arm like a crimson river. There was no end to it. They had mere minutes left, and then Sesshoumaru would die.

Inuyasha could not even begin to think of what he would do when it came time to leave his brother's lifeless corpse in this clearing. From where would come the strength to walk back to his friends, covered in blood, and tell them that his brother was dead?

Inuyasha could not see the future, could not even think of it. All he could do was answer the call of the creature he loved while he still had the chance.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru's lips parted in silent laughter, and then he spoke, "Come join me in Hell."

Inuyasha gasped as he felt his chest rip open, literally this time. He glanced down, exactly as Sesshoumaru had done, and he saw an arm protruding from his chest, an arm with burgundy stripes trailing down the sides. He could feel the death grip around his heart; it matched the one he had on Sesshoumaru's. Inuyasha tried to breathe and felt his lungs explode with pain.

So this was how it would end. Inuyasha could think of no better death for two beings so steeped in mistrust and sin. They were selfish, really. They both wanted to take from the other without regard. And now they would both pay for their selfishness. The carnal love of brothers was truly the deepest and blackest kind.

It had consumed them, body and soul.

Slowly, the brothers felt their strength draining away. The stared into each other's eyes as the minutes passed. Their blood flowed together and away, a mighty river of mingled lies and loss. It twined together, and neither demon could see any difference, could distinguish one from the other. Why had they made such a fuss over how different they were? The dirt that drank their blood with greedy lips cared not if it was pure.

Their muscles lost strength and their vision began to fade to black. Still, neither loosened their grip on the other. All they had to do was pull away. They could have easily run and found a quiet place to heal. But they didn't. They lay on the ground together, naked and panting and intertwined as they had been during sex. Each was determined to take the other's life, even if they lost their own in the process.

Things in the clearing grew quiet; death hung heavily in the air. With the last of his strength, Sesshoumaru laid his head on his brother's chest, relaxing his muscles. They no longer had the strength to hold him anyways.

Inuyasha's head fell back. He couldn't look at his brother any longer, though he loved his beauty even now. Sesshoumaru looked like fallen star, too sublime to belong to this Earth.

"Neither of us belongs here any longer," Inuyasha whispered, his head swimming and his vision blurring. His eyes traced the pattern of the inky clouds above; they were the last thing he would ever see.

He could feel no warmth from Sesshoumaru's body as he lay on him, perfectly still. He couldn't feel the pain any more. He could only feel cold. And emptiness. Emptiness unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.

He mustered the strength to whispered four final words before he gave himself over to the darkness. "Sesshoumaru, I love you."

Silence was his only answer.

_To be continued._


	11. Chapter 11

_And so the final chapter has arrived. Before I begin writing a new chapter, I always go back and read the previous one, and that one had me on the edge of my seat. It amazes me when my own writing still leaves me in suspense, as if I don't know exactly what is going to happen. How insane is that? Well, you only had to wait three months for the last chapter--I know that sounds like a lot, but if you know my history, that's light speed--so I won't make you wait any longer. It's been an absolute joy writing such an in-depth fic, and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm in college now and bursting with free time, so if you want something written, drop me a line. I always respond to fans (or at least I try my hardest). Thanks so much for all the support. I love you all!_

_This chapter is dedicated to Dyan-chan, a faithful reader who happened to discover we both attend UF and was brave enough to contact my erratic self XD. We're now very good friends, and I hope we stay that way until one of us inevitably bites the dust, bwa ha ha. Much love, babe. This one's for you._

_By the way, I gave up a long time ago trying to write Sesshoumaru with one arm. For one thing, I always forget that he's supposed to have lost one. For another, in my sex scenes, it's a lot more fun if he has two XD. If you don't like it, get over it. It's just a story, and you know that if you ever slept with Sesshoumaru, you'd want him to have full use of all ten glorious fingers.  
_

**Present Day**

The morning sunlight filtering through the trees was soft and gentle, like a mother's hand stroking her baby's cheek. It danced over rocks and leaves and springy green plants, climbing slowly westward. Every day, it made this tentative trek, seeking into all the nooks and crannies of the Earth. Every day, it discovered new trees growing, new valleys forming, new water flowing in the rivers. Every day, the sun was the first to wake up and see what had transpired in the hours it had been visiting the other side of the world. Today, however, the light stumbled upon a scene that certainly did not belong in the quiet forest.

Blood wasn't supposed to be that red.

Blood, fresh from the wound, was a shade of red akin to fire, not dark like the wine it was often compared to. More like holly berries--almost cheerful in hue. However, it never stayed that way for long. Dried and congealed, blood became a color like dirt mixed with oil. It was only beautiful fresh, and even then you had to have the stomach for it. The sun knew this well. It had traveled many a battlefield in its endless years and had seen enough drowned dirt to know the different shades of Death by heart. That's why it was such a surprise when its light fell upon a virtual ruby tucked into the roots of a tree.

Blood wasn't supposed to be that red, not when the creatures it belonged to had obviously been dead for many hours. The sunlight hesitated on this spot, skipping about the dripping crimson pool like a firefly caught in a jar. Elegant cuts of porcelain lay intertwined amongst the scarlet liquid: the limbs of the deceased. Locks of silver hair still fluttered in the breeze, though most of the strands were too weighed down by sticky mess to fly. The blood shimmered like a child's tears fallen on his newly skinned knee. It was beautiful, in a macabre way.

There appeared to be two figures wrapped within each other, but the bodies were so tangled, it could have easily been one. The fair coloring and elegance of the creatures suggested that two angels had lost their wings and tumbled from the heavens, clutching each other for comfort as they watched the ground approach.

Little red spots stood out against white skin like a color-inverted night sky. One of the creatures lay on his back, and a pair of golden eyes gazed lifelessly forward. The thick black eyelashes that ringed these golden pools were dotted with crimson beads, as if someone had dyed that morning's dew with rose petals. Three arms were spread out around the bodies carelessly. The sculptor who had made these marble figures had seemingly been distracted when he'd carved their limbs. One of the arms cradled a head resting upon a chest. The other arms caressed each other, their fingers laced with apparent care. The fourth and final arm was hidden beneath the body of the second fallen angel.

The larger of the two creatures lay upon the other, snuggled up with almost child-like innocence. His eyes were closed, but the other similarities between the two suggested that they would be gold as well if they ever opened again. The fair beauty of each was incomparable--especially in the pallor of Death--but their striking differences were still apparent. One faced upward, ready to ascend into the heavens or be dragged downward to Hell. Regardless of where he was sent, he was in the perfect position to thumb his nose at God. The other had placed himself on top of his kindred, as if he wished to use his final moments to immortalize his station. Even in death, he would not lie in the dirt with those lower than himself.

The scene was heartbreaking in its loveliness and seemed to beg for answers. Just what had befallen these two elegant creatures? How had they ended up in a pool of twining blood? What intrigues had lead them to die together? The wind rustling through the leaves carried these questions up and away to be buried in the darkest recesses of the forest.

The sunlight eventually moved on, spreading out to other parts of the forest. If it had stayed longer, it might have noticed a strange stirring in the bloody scene it left behind. At first, it could have been mistaken for a trick of the light, an illusion caused by the blowing wisps of hair. Gradually, however, it became very clear that one or possibly both of the marble-like bodies was moving, either by their own volition or some form of devilry. With a sickening sucking sound, the fourth hand finally appeared; it jerked into the air, standing straight up like a trophy, glistening with yet another coat of sparkling crimson blood.

The arm belonged to the second creature, and with its removal, a cavity was revealed in the chest of the first. The mystery of how the first creature had died was revealed, but that said nothing of the second. He stood--he was naked and clearly male--slowly, but not without a large measure of grace. His eyelids parted and revealed the molten gold eyes that had been expected of him. He stared into the bright sunshine, blinking as if he could not believe what he was seeing. An expression of astonishment crossed his face, and it did not seem to belong there. This was clearly not a man who often found himself surprised.

"Inuyasha," a word sparked from his lips and seemed to clear his head. This Sesshoumaru had survived. He glanced down and saw the body of his brother. It made him flinch inside to see what a mess it had become. Such beauty, wasted and rolling in the dirt. Sesshoumaru looked down at his bloody hand and saw that Inuyasha had one to match. He remembered well the cold and aching pain he'd felt when his baby brother had plunged his hand into his chest while their bodies exploded with passion for each other. He remembered the hazy feeling of his blood floating away, hot against his skin but so cold. He remembered the ache that had nothing to do with his injuries as he plunged his own right hand into his brother, digging deeply in until he felt the pulsing of half-breed heart. He remembered laying his head down and closing his eyes when the world was finally too bright and brutal to look at anymore. He remembered a murmured voice speaking words he barely understood….

But something had changed. Something had spared his life. He looked at himself again and once more at his brother, and that's when he realized it.

They'd been holding hands.

Sometime while the life had been draining from them, Inuyasha had pulled his right hand from the depths of Sesshoumaru's chest and twined their hands together. Sesshoumaru chuckled at the mirror imagery he and his half brother created. A hole in the chest, a bloody right arm, and a black heart beneath it all.

Apparently, Inuyasha's heart had been just slightly too tender for the job. He had lost his grip on Sesshoumaru's life, and it had slipped through his fingers. Sesshoumaru had survived and Inuyasha hadn't, a testament of pure strength against the diluted blood of the hanyou. These thoughts flashed through Sesshoumaru's mind as he reveled in his victory. He had made the mistake of underestimating the hanyou, but it had not proved to be a fatal one. Inuyasha had wanted to save his own life, but upon truly grasping that he would have to live without Sesshoumaru in order to accomplish that, he had chosen instead to succumb to death alone.

"Well, brother, it seems we have proven once and for all which of us holds superior strength."

Sesshoumaru knew they were evil words to speak before his brother's corpse. He knew he should be honoring Inuyasha's logic, his sacrificial nature. Inuyasha had understood that if he was going to die anyways, he might as well let his love live. He had spent the last of his strength expressing that love in words and twining fingers.

But Sesshoumaru was what he was. The immovable Taiyoukai might have craved his brother's flesh, might have desired his company, might have yearned to place the hanyou at his feet, but there were no true feelings behind these things. Selfishness and pride were all that fueled the demon. He was enraged that Inuyasha had managed to escape him after all, but the knowledge of what the hanyou had given in order to do so consoled him. Let this be a marker in the future for those who chose to defy him. Comply, or meet a swift end.

Sesshoumaru tilted his perfect nose to the air and sniffed. It would rain soon. Troublesome dark clouds had formed from seemingly nowhere and blocked the gentle morning sunlight. Mother Nature was coming to clean up his mess, just as a good mother should. Sesshoumaru gathered his fine clothing and slipped it on, not even having the decency to leave the murder scene before doing so. As he fastened his sword and the last of his armor securely around his waist, he cast one final glance at the body lying on the ground.

A strange mood struck him as he realized this was the last time he would ever gaze upon the rough but angelic features of his half-brother: the man who had stirred such fire from the depths of an icy heart. He considered the body for a moment and then leaned carefully down, passing his fingers smoothly over his brother's still-soft eyelashes, wiping the blood from them. He slid his fingers once more over those blank eyes--still beautiful in their vacancy--and closed the lids. If nothing else, he could offer his brother a chance to sleep in peace. He would leave this forest and never set foot here again.

Nature could do with the body as it pleased. It held no use for Sesshoumaru any longer.

With that, the Taiyoukai sprinted off, graceful as an elk and a hundred times as swift.

Moments later, a soft pattering of rain fell from the sky. It started slow: the drumming of God's impatient fingers on the ground. The blood was driven into the dirt and then slowly cracked away, dissolving under the mystical power of rain to wash away even the most grievous of sins. Like a healing salve it fell, sweeping away the sordid mess of Inuyasha's death in trickles and streams.

Only the body remained unmoved, as if determined to stay right where it was until the ground inevitably swallowed it up.

The falling rain carried a song with it, immersed in the mindless rhythm it beat upon the ground. Contrary to the lies Sesshoumaru rehearsed in his head, the Taiyoukai was not the victor here. It wasn't a matter of "victory" at all. The fight between the two tragic brothers was so small, smaller even than they were themselves. Inuyasha's death had not tilted the world on its axis. It had not made the stars shine any brighter or dimmer. Its impact would be felt by only a handful of the limitless souls in the universe.

But Inuyasha did not die for them, the world, or even his brother. He died for himself. In the final moments before the darkness enveloped him in its peaceful chill, he had come to an important understanding that most creatures would never be blessed enough to grasp. Hating his brother was pointless. No matter the terrible acts inflicted upon him by Sesshoumaru, hate would solve nothing. It was the purest and most vile of all diseases, and Inuyasha had been subject to its parasitic nature for far too many years.

His emotions were meant to be a tool to hurt those who hurt him, but every time Inuyasha lashed out, he hurt only himself. He saw his emotions as a mirror: what he gave out was reflected back at him with equal intensity. During his life, when he was dissatisfied with being a half-demon--with the meager strength and impure blood that his birth granted him--he had hated his brother's purity. When he'd finally learned to move past his pride and love his brother for all that was beautiful about him, he had been granted the greatest blessing of all. He had been granted freedom.

Though he was not quite selfless enough to forgive his brother for years of mistreatment, he had understood the fleeting nature of life. He'd had the chance to switch his own life out for his brother's, but in the end he had chosen to die in Sesshoumaru's place. There had been a fleeting moment, just before his heart stopped beating, when his hand had settled on Sesshoumaru's wrist, just above where it dove into his chest. He could have pulled his brother's weakened arm away. He could have healed and woken up the next day to find his friends waiting for him. He could have started his life anew, without the weight of Sesshoumaru's impossible demands. But he hadn't. Instead, he'd pulled his other hand free, wound their fingers together, and fallen into blissful sleep.

Death was not an escape for Inuyasha; it was a step towards healing. He'd released the last of the hate in his heart, and with its burden missing, he'd found the strength to pull his hand from Sesshoumaru's chest and forgive him. He'd realized that if someone had asked him to take all of the beatings he'd received again in order to make his love happy, he would do it. No amount of pain was more important to him than the forgiveness he'd felt in his heart.

Peace had settled over him like a lover's embrace and rocked him gently to sleep.

The rain wept for the callous soul of Sesshoumaru. He would spend a lifetime wandering helplessly, restlessly, unable to find content in a world that he considered so far below himself. How could a creature of such excellence ever be satisfied with this simple world? How could he ever be satisfied with the people in it, even a creature who loved him so much he was willing to die to leave him content in his own egoism?

Inuyasha had sought to fill Sesshoumaru's heart with warmth; instead, he'd found the wisdom to fill his own.

Sesshoumaru would never understand the fortune he had overlooked. What he perceived as weakness was the greatest strength. What he saw as pointless sacrifice was really freedom in its purest form. Inuyasha was now liberated from the tyranny of his unfortunate life. He would never be beaten again, never suffer, never hate the parts of himself that were precious simply because he was told they were worthless.

Inuyasha had appeared to Sesshoumaru as a burden: bad blood to stain his purity and a weak heart to infect his strength. But in the end, Sesshoumaru had been the burden, one just heavy enough to force the pain from Inuyasha's soul.

Inuyasha could rest now. He was free.

The End.


	12. Chapter 12

My original novel, "In Excess" by Quinn Anderson (me) is now available in all e-book formats and paperback!

For those of you who don't know, my novel is a slash contemporary romance in which Nikolas "Nik" - a teenager from a rough neighborhood - is forced to transfer to a rich, privileged private Catholic university. The second he sets foot on campus, he knows he'll hate it, and the students make no effort to conceal how much they don't want him there. When he meets Seth, however - the dark, sensual "king" of the Academy - his college days quickly transform into a battle of wits and seduction. Nik becomes the subject of a wager between Seth and his two best friends, and the trio of gorgeous men will stop at nothing to win.

If you would like to find my novel and support my writing career, it's available through Less Than Three Press, at lessthanthreepress dot com, OR you can get it through both Amazon dot com and Barnesandnoble dot com.

Thank you all so much for your love and support! I have the best fans ever! Also, if you read the book, I encourage you to leave me reviews for it so other people will read it, too. It's on goodreads dot com as well!


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